NSF's Online Community, Pillow Talk™

So it's been quite awhile since I've updated. Since my last post:

• I've tried Rozerem
• I've tried Lunesta
• I've tried 2 different dosages of Seroquel

I recently found out that my school has a sleep center. What the hell??! Why didn't I think of a sleep study sooner? Well, I guess for one, it costs quite a bit of money and two, I thought sleeping pills would help. Silly me, right? I'm just so tired.

As much as I hate having severe insomnia, this whole ordeal has intrigued me. I wonder what it's like to be a polysomnographer. I guess I'll see if I get to do that sleep study.

have been terrible. thursday night, i took my dad's suggestion and took my pills at 10 instead of 11. i ended up going to sleep an hour later (3 hours earlier than usual), but the quality of sleep was horrific. i woke up 6 times during the night and every time i woke up, i had that same dizzy/numb feeling i had when i only took the melatonin.

the night after, i decided to try taking them an hour earlier again, thinking maybe the night before was just a fluke. i only woke up 3 times, but it still had a significant impact on my brain function and motor skills. yeah, i'm pretty much braindead when i'm sleep deprived. ask my roommate.

last night, i went to a movie and then on to a friend's house. i left her house at about 3 and then went on to waffle house. i gotta say, the one in burleson is like 50 times nicer than the one in grand prairie. it's cleaner, doesn't smell like smoke, and the people are MUCH nicer and not annoying in the least. but that's enough about waffle house. i got home at about 4:30 and read until about 5:30. my stepsister came in my room at 9:15-ish this morning to use the computer, so that woke me up.

now it's raining pretty hard outside, so i'm hoping i can get a quick nap in before i meet up with mark and crista.

well, i finally set one of these things up.

the past few nights have sucked. the melatonin and nyquil mix isn't really working as well as it used to. i think that, basically, if i take any kind of sleep aid for a period of time, i'll just build up an immunity to it.

last night, i had to get out of the house. if i try to go to sleep before i'm able to, i just get really angry, so i drove around for awhile. when i came home, i took the melatonin and nyquil, then added tylenol's "simply sleep". i had tried that a couple of weeks ago, but it didn't work out too well. this time, however, it seemed to be okay. it actually put me to sleep within an hour. i have a feeling its effects won't last long, though.

i had talked to the doctor and that's when she told me to try melatonin. that was about a month ago. i've decided that, if this new mix of nyquil/melatonin/simply sleep doesn't work out in the next couple of weeks, i'll go back. she said she didn't want to prescribe anything because i'm kind of young to be starting prescription sleep aids, but if this current mix doesn't work, i don't know what else i can do.

i've already tried natural methods of relaxation. i've done pilates in the morning and i've meditated before bed. i've stayed away from caffeine. i don't drink alcohol. i've cut back on the junk food and i've been eating a little healthier. i wear one of those skiing headbands over my eyes to keep the light out. i've also tried valerian root, but i built up a tolerance to it really quickly.

i miss the days when i could go to sleep whenever i wanted. if i was woken up, i could go back to sleep (whereas now, if i hear a sound, i'm up and going back to sleep is out of the question). before summer started, my roommate would go to sleep hours before me and she was convinced that i didn't sleep. that was true, some of the time. my level of concentration was basically... nonexistant. i couldn't pay attention in class, which made me have to learn everything by the book that night, which caused stress, which made it even more difficult to go to sleep, which in turn, chipped away even more at my concentration, and eventually i ended up failing almost all of my classes. it was a vicious cycle.

and it still is, except now, there's no stress on my life whatsoever. it's summer, so i don't have classes. i'm getting along with my parents. work isn't stressful (just boring).

i've read that insomnia isn't a condition in itself so much as it is a symptom of a deeper problem. stress could've been the cause during the year, but now that's out. i could say depression is the reason, but i'm taking my medicine daily and i know it's working. you may be wondering why i've done so much research. well, i've had a lot of time to spare. when everyone else in the house is asleep, i'm reading or watching a movie or researching. i mean, what else do i have to do at 2 a.m.? everything but walmart and waffle house is closed. i've been to both. walmart's okay, there's alot to look at and play with. waffle house would be fine, but the night shift workers there annoy me to no end. plus, i come home smelling like smoke. gross. the waffles, however, are quite good.

if i'm lucky enough to know it's going to be a really bad night, i'll go rent a movie. lately, it's been movies related to insomnia: fight club, the machinist, etc. surprisingly, i have yet to rent the movie actually entitled "insomnia", but i have a tremendous amount of time to take care of that. if any of you have ever seen "fight club", my situation is a lot like edward norton's. his explanation of the way an insomniac lives is dead on.

i just want normal sleep patterns back. any suggestions?