Like the others have said, I too am so sorry to hear about your friend and her husband. I was in a very similar situation nearly 8 years ago. We were in an accident going on vacation. My husband has a C3-C4 injury, and we had 2 young sons at the time.
I think the advice you have gotten from others is fabulous and right on track. When your friend is back closer to home, meals are great. Help with yard work, cleaning, errands, childcare can’t be overstated. Someone to sit with her, not even necessarily to talk but to just sit quietly in support is also a big help.
One thing I will suggest is to not say a vague thing like… “call me if you need anything.” Everyone says that, and it is just too general to be useful. What I appreciated was when someone said, “I can bring you dinner, what night and what time works best.” Or “I am hiring someone to clean your house, what day would you like them to come.” Or, “I’m planning to drive there and stay with you, what day and time works best.” Give her something specific that you are willing to do and not some vague generality of some sort of help sometime.
I think one of the best things I got from a friend was when she had done something for me that I really needed help with, and she left me a little note that said, “This comes with no strings and no thank you note required. I care about you.” That really was great. It is hard to ask for help and then when you get it, you want to express your appreciation to people but sometimes you just don’t have the time or energy to write a heart-felt note. Getting help from a friend and knowing that they didn’t need a thank you note felt like a wonderful gift that I will always treasure.
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's learning to dance in the rain."