Your incident of peeing your shoe cracked me up. Believe me if I had been there, it surely would have sent me into a frenzy but since it was you, I found myself a little cracked-up. By the way, my husband has peed his shoe many a time too, but typically I can only blame myself because I have left the leg bag improperly secured.
Sometimes I crack myself up feeling like what I call a poser. Poser, meaning posing like a normal person; posing like a normal wife and mother. I remember one day when I stepped out of bed and slipped and fell on 2L of my husband’s urine that had drained on the floor all night. My jammies are soaked in pee, and I have a big clean up on my hands. However, I manage the clean up of both the floor and myself and even make it to work on time.
I have also gone to work when just a mere hour before I was cleaning up a code brown in my husband’s bed. Or literally I have been on my way out the door and given my husband a quad cough only to have him cough up a big lougie into my hair.
I arrive at work thinking if these people only knew what I had been doing this morning. I wonder what my work colleagues would think of me if they knew I had rolled around it in husband’s urine just an hour ago. Work is where I feel the most normal. Most people have no idea of our circumstances. I never talk about it; only if someone approaches me and specifically asks something. I have a couple of very good friends at work that I have known for over 15 years, and they hear all the stories. But they are the only ones that have any idea.
After a disastrous SCI morning, I plop down in my desk chair at work and almost snicker out loud. If people only knew. I can only think, OMG I’m posing like a normal person and nobody realizes it.
Is it normal to pretend to be normal? Shoot, maybe I am normal and just don’t know it. Maybe some of the people I work with are posers too. Maybe nobody is really normal. I dream of being just normal again and not a poser.
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's learning to dance in the rain."