Reeve Foundation Paralysis Community

I wrote a couple weeks ago about being excited about getting a vehicle and gaining some independence. I now have learned about everything that must happen before the thrill of driving again.  I am to go to a driving evaluation wednesday to make sure I am a good candidate for handcontrol driving school.  It is at Ohio state and finding a way to get there has been a hassle since I was always the one that drove my family places. Well, my older son is taking off work to take me there, and somehow I will get in and out of the car. I am still not great at transferring, but somehow I will do it. If they decide I am a good candidate the hunt for a vehicle will start, and I will have to go to a week of training in Columbus. The lodging will be taken care of, which is a good thing since we have limited resources right now. I am nervous about the testing and actually being away from home for a week.  But most of all I think I am worried about when I am able to go places how will I feel?  I have not been anywhere except to therapy and places I can get to in my seat since my accident. This has been over a year ago, and even though I hate being stuck here it is in an odd way a comfort zone. Thinking about going to a movie or restaurant brings on a panic attack. I am planning on going back to work using my nursing degree in some capacity, and my BVR counselor is helping with that. How am I going to be able to get back into some kind of normal life if it freaks me out just thinking about it? Is this an issue that everyone has, and is it just magnified since I have had limited access to go places? Or is this just my own insecurities? 

Thanks for any comments.

This is the short version because I am at work. The anxiety you feel is normal but don't let it consume you. This is one of those things that will bury you if you let it. It is hard to go out at times in the beginning because you are in a different body. Sometimes even now over 3 years later I still feel uneasy at the stares or the feelings I get when I encounter steps or a barrier. However if you go out it will get easier. Each time some of that falls away. The key is in just getting out there. if you stay in it gets harder and harder to overcome.

I wish you the best of luck in your driving endeavor. It will be such a relief to you when you get that step completed.

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I just came back from yesterday.

My friend had her first child several months ago. The baby's father left the scene so she was all alone. There she was in her hospital room with a beautiful baby and the night before she was to be discharged she confided to me that she really didn't want to go. That she felt so safe in her "little nest". Reminded me of how it felt when I left rehab, scared to death. Reminded me of my first day back to work, scared to death. So you know where all of this is going.

As a nurse, you know that wounds to the skin heal at a rate of 1 mm a day. You have a deep wound to your psyche, and it will take a while and it will heal slowly. And as it does, your level of comfort will grow and the size of your world will grow. I am still afraid of a lot of stuff, but that wound has healed. So I am less self-conscious and more trusting as I go out in the community that there will always be someone there to help me if I need it. I can know that because I've had lots of experience. Your experience is in front of you.

I'm happy you've joined these discussions and I am looking forward to your future!

 

 

 

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Dan Gottlieb Ph.D.
www.DrDanGottlieb.com
"wisdom of Sam: observations on life from an uncommon child"
trailer:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_V4QrekU1Wk