Dear Trish,
I know you are aware that I am writing another column about you Monday in the Philadelphia Inquirer and you will be joining me the following day at noon on my web chat (www.Phillynews.com/askdan but I wanted to give you a preview of what I will say.
You don't have to go into a tank or do anything that will deprive your senses. I want you to do the opposite -- I want you to experience your senses. When you race around like most of us do, always thinking about what needs to be done or what will happen if..., we usually don't experience our lives, just our thoughts. I recently opened a lecture by telling people that I missed breakfast that morning. I ate breakfast, but because I was thinking about the lecture and the rest of my day and my children and on and on, I didn't taste anything. I missed the flavor of the yogurt, the warmth of my coffee or the music in the background. Because of my thoughts I was missing my life.
You cannot shut your thoughts down, you need big league medication (or meditation) for that. But if you are noticing your life rather than being absorbed inside of it, you will also notice that your thoughts are pulling you away from your experience.
It's a funny thing about thoughts, we just assume they are the voice of truth, that they are some kind of reality. We have no idea what they are, but we do know that 95% of them are worthless. And yet you live inside of them allowing them to guide your life. Silly humans! Why do you think dogs are so happy and so many of us are miserable? Thoughts! We have tons of them, they don't (I don't think).
So, wanna change your mind? More details are in Monday's column, but you can start by dropping in every now and then and just notice how fast your mind is going, notice what emotions you might be feeling, notice how your body feels, the temperature in the room, the sounds and smells. Just a drop in a few times today. And when you are doing that, just noticing your mind and body, I want to know who you are at that moment. Are you the one who notices or are you a mind that is being observed?
Is all that clear? If so, all you have to do is say "tanks" (sorry about that)
Dan Gottlieb Ph.D.
www.DrDanGottlieb.com
"wisdom of Sam: observations on life from an uncommon child"will be released April 2010
