Dear peace,
let me join the others in welcoming you to this site. I hope you find the understanding and compassion most have found. And I have to say the response you got from Trish was remarkably insightful informative, I agree everything she said.
I would like to add another thing for you to think about. Six months post trauma is like yesterday in one's psyche. Everyone in the system is still in a bit of shock and may not be thinking terribly clearly. Especially in the system you describe -- there are turf wars, grief, control issues, perhaps great guilt and like the rest of us, the never-ending struggle to control what we can.
When in doubt do nothing. And when you are done doing nothing, it might be a good idea to do nothing some more and see what happens.
In that process of doing nothing, hopefully you will be able to take a look inside and see what your fears are really about. Your dreams are pretty clear, but the fears are not. And too often we react to situations in order to avoid facing that fear.
Please listen to what Trish said and do whatever you can to help him manage his own money. Ideally, it should not be done by you or his mother. And, ideally he should be able to say how it gets handled and, if necessary, by whom.
Peace, I would also want you, during those quiet moments, to think about your life and what is right for you. Think about what a loving mother or father would want for you.
Dan Gottlieb Ph.D.
www.DrDanGottlieb.com
"wisdom of Sam: observations on life from an uncommon child"will be released April 2010
