I wish it was over, but it’s not scheduled until the first week of Oct.; that is if I don’t chicken out or something else comes up.
I have no idea what would happen if I got seriously ill. I pray it doesn’t happen, and I will myself well every day to keep it from happening. I always have this feeling that everything would fall apart if I was out of commission but maybe that isn’t true. My husband has a large family and most of them live close by. They don’t help out much now but maybe if the worst happened they would come to the rescue. Everyone thinks I have it all under control, so I don’t think anyone ever thinks we need anything. And on the outside everything is under control. It’s just the toll it takes to make it look that way.
I don’t think OT would really help my husband. His only movement is his neck so there just isn’t much to work with. He has most all of the adaptive equipment he can really use, but with no arm movement at all there is just not too much to work with. What I really wish he would have is just a little more motivation and accountability. I’ll give you an example. Our son started high school this year. He is going to a private high school which we knew would complicate things since there is no bus service, and he has to be dropped off and picked up. The morning drop off is no problem for me, it’s the pick up that is tight because of my job. My husband assured me that he would do pick up with his nurse Wed. and Thursdays. That would be a huge help for me plus I felt like he was stepping up and taking on a fatherly responsibility. Well the first Wed. of school he did in fact pick up our son. But on Thursday, he was watching a movie and called his parents instead to do the pick up.
That pretty much pissed me off. Maybe it shouldn’t have. The ultimate goal is to get our son home from school and that was accomplished, but I just felt like he should have done it himself. Sometimes we have to interrupt our lives to do something for someone else because that is our responsibility. I do that every single day. I was hoping that he would feel that too when it came to our son. I told him my opinion, and he more or less agreed and has done his pick ups himself since then. That’s sort of what happened with this surgery. When I told him how I felt, he understood and got on board. I guess deep down I just hate it that I have to motivate him to do things I think a loving caring father or husband would be motivated to do all on their own. Men, I’ll never understand them.
Trish
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's learning to dance in the rain."
