Reeve Foundation Paralysis Community

I am writing I guess for reassurance that my life is going to feel worth living again. That being said I know "It could be worse". I do not know how many times I have been told that by well meaning people. I do know it could be worse, but it sure could be better too! I am still not able to transfer to a car, and have been taking the public transit bus to my therapy appointments.  This is not easy either because I am afraid of heights and getting lifted up high into the air sitting on what seems like a flimsy little wire platform is very frightening to me. I feel like I have ruined my and my sons lives by being the way I am. I know they would say not, but we have gone from living pretty well to living in a one bedroom small apartment. Never having money to go and have fun even if I had a way to get there, and me always feeling sorry for myself. It has been 10 months since my accident and I just started being able to use my lower abdominal muscles, so my physical therapist is encouraged that I could still have more function returning. I was working 2 nursing jobs and taking trips frequently. We ate out at least 3 times a week and went to the movies usually on sundays. Now I can go to my one hour physical therapy appointment twice a week, and my counseling appointment once a week! Whoopie  My counselor is not very helpful either. She listens and agrees with what I say, but is not encouraging or hopeful. She did tell me that she has a patient with cerebral palsy who is able to walk and feeling sorry for himself. She told him the just behind my story and he decided that it would be worse being me, since he was use to having a disability and I wasn't.  How this was suppose to help me I don't understand. I know she didn't use any names or any confidential information but I did not appreciate being told about it either.  It just seems like everybody's lives are going on like they were and mine and my sons are so different now. I hear stories from well meaning family and friends about their trips, work, and celebrations, that I could not go to and it just makes me feel so much worse. I don't want everybody to stop living their lives and having fun, but I want to feel like I am living again too. Is this too much to ask for?  And does it ever happen? I know I have been rambling but I just feel so sad and without much hope for a real life again for myself and my sons.

Please let me know how I can get past all of this and start to feel a little happiness again no matter if I have any more function come back or not. I just feel so alone even though I know I am not. Thanks for listening.