My husband and I had wondered about this same concept just last night; did we truly appreciate our life prior to his accident. We came to the conclusion that we did not and wondered why. Finally we decided that we didn’t because we thought we had a lifetime to do it.
Thinking of you on this difficult day.
Will you let us know how your day turns out? As my husband and I are approaching our next wedding anniversary, it will be 9 years pre-SCI and 8 years post SCI. I keep wondering how I am going to feel when the scale tips the other way; when more years of our marriage than not have been consumed by his SCI. For some reason, it is a very scary thought to me. Good thing I have a couple years to get used to the idea.
Hope your day will also bring you some happy reflections with your daughters.
I wonder if these periodic reflections are a common phenomenon associated with trauma? The first Christmas after my accident, I was so grateful to be alive, out of inpatient rehab, and back in my home community. It was overwhelming to consider even how to thank the multitudes of people who kept me alive, supported me and my family during that time period, took care of everything from my finances to providing a place for my youngest daughter to live for six months, finding and setting up an apartment for me to come home to, and so on. I cannot begin, even now, four years later, to make certain those contributors know how much their compassion and care means to me.
I have made a conscious effort to thank as many people as I can as the journey of the past four years has progressed. For each person I thank, there are two or three more that come to mind that I would like to express my gratitude for but I have no way of contacting. It seems like a never-ending, daunting challenge that I keep chunking away at one person at a time!
Yesterday, I watched the remake of Hitchcock's mystery thriller from 1954, "Rear Window". In the 1998 remake, Christopher Reeve plays the role of the disabled architect. He inserts current information into the movie regarding the cure, the high cost of being disabled, his exercise program to ensure readiness when the cure is discovered, and most interestingly, to me, the common human reactions to the process of acceptance of the reality of being disabled. If you have not seen this movie, it is worth the time.
Reeve portrayed accurately seeing his new, accessible loft for the first time and sitting at his window, wistfully watching the lives of others go on as though nothing had happened. As Reeve thanks his ex-wife for all that she has done to oversee the accessibility modifications of his home, I remember thinking how easy it was for him to thank one person in contrast to the masses involved in my situation.
Best wishes to you, Dan, as you transition from your role as a columnist for the Inquirer. I am certain that they will miss your expertise. Your sorting out and prioritization are welcome "how to" examples for me to observe. It is a positive affirmation of the necessity of constant re-engineering one's life to fit changing circumstances. Good for you that you are able to make decisions that fit your life as it is. Thanks for sharing your wisdom and Happy Anniversary!