Reeve Foundation Paralysis Community

I’m starting to wonder if technology is replacing normal human interaction. I had an interesting experience this week. On Wednesday night at 11:30 p.m., I get a text message from my sister. Of course I’m not asleep yet, so I read it. It says “You better look at Allie’s Facebook.” Allie is our niece. I’m not really a die hard FBer more a lurker and monitor of my own kid’s FB, but once you sign up people you know from everywhere suddenly materialize. I get up and logon the computer, and her FB says she is engaged. I text back, “I have no idea what this means.” She has a serious boyfriend, but I had just talked to our brother that night, and he didn’t say a word about any engagement.

In the morning, I checked FB again. I see another niece (Allie’s cousin that is a senior in college) has now commented on the engagement. Well I can’t let this go without a comment of my own. So I make one. Then I email my brother and ask him what’s going on. In about an hour I get a phone call from my brother asking what the heck are you talking about? He has just looked at her FB and doesn’t see anything, but claims he’s on a Blackberry so he might be confused. He knows of no engagement but is going to get to work and check on his computer. In another hour he sends me an email with a screen shot of what he sees on her FB. Humm…he is seeing only a fraction of what I see. My sister, who started this whole mess with her midnight text, emails us both with a screen shot of what she sees which is the same as what I see. Apparently my niece has blocked her dad from viewing most of the “good” stuff. I hate to have to break it to him, but it appears that the cat is already out of the bag. The entire morning is a flurry of emails trying to unravel her FB. Now she is back to “in a serious relationship” and apparently her boyfriend added the engagement info to her FB. I still don’t know the whole story, but I’m pretty sure she isn’t engaged. It’s just another colossal hoax I suppose. I’m expecting to be blocked by her any day now. I think I’m going to feel a little hurt if I have to find out one of my nieces or nephews is engaged via FB. Is this the wave of the future?

Technology is great, and I certainly partake in most of it. It makes my husband’s life so much easier and allows him to communicate in ways I’m sure he couldn’t have 15 years ago. But I miss the face to face. I miss hearing a voice or looking at someone’s face and into their eyes to really understand what they are saying. Every time I hit the send button, I wonder if someone is going to misread, misunderstand, misconstrue, or inadvertently take offense to a crazy email of mine. It’s so easy to read the wrong tone into an email or FB post.

I remember growing up when you had to knock on someone’s door to talk to them. Or sit at the kitchen table and talk on the phone because your parent’s wouldn’t put a phone in your room. Or you had to actually pull into a gas station and fish a quarter out of the ashtray in your car and use a pay phone. Are we better off now because of all of our devices? Sometimes yes, but maybe sometimes no. I miss the touchy feely of a real live conversation. Maybe others don’t mind it so much, but with having a C3-C4 husband maybe I’m just starved for some touchy feely.

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Trish

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's learning to dance in the rain."

I'm interested in why we need to be continuously connected every minute of every day! Actually this 'need" for constant communication is why I spend most of each day in a wheelchair, courtesy of a cell phone user who was so distracted that he did not even see my jeep before plowing into it and breaking my neck and shoulder blade!

Personally, I think this instant gratification mindset regarding communication has distanced us from experiencing our lives rather than just talking or typing. I love technology, but I also relish face to face real-time conversations.

There is nothing more interesting to me than hearing someone's story. That is one thing I miss about using the public transit system. I met some of the most fascinating people on those transit vans!

I see your point but I must admit that I am from a big family and I could never keep up with all the sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, cousins etc..... by calling.  I would have to have the phone permanently attached to my ear -LOL.  modern technology helps me to stay in touch with so many more people than I ever could before.  When you live far away from so many, it helps you to feel less alone and more connected -even though you are not actually there.  That's my two cents. 

You are right about that. I guess I was speaking from my myopic viewpoint of safety & courtesy issues - phone use while driving or while with other people. I come from a large family too that is spread all over the US, so I do agree with what you are saying. In fact, today I nearly had to make an appointment to have my phone surgically removed from my ear!!!

I agree too that our technology is a great way to keep in touch. I have a big family too, but 95% of them live within a 20 minute radius of me. Sometimes I even run into them at the grocery store.

However, as for my immediate family (brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews and parents) there are a couple of things I don't want to find out about on Facebook. Death, Divorce, Engagement, and Babies. Is that too much to ask? Sure if they had chicken pot pie for dinner, or they attended that stunning Colts victory last night, or they decided to go blonde...Facebook is definitely the way to go.

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Trish

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's learning to dance in the rain."

balance. Without it, nothing good happens.

Here we are talking to one another via technology. Today we share our ideas and experiences. On other threads, we open our hearts and look for compassion and often find it.

On the other hand, technology keeps us from one another. Why didn't someone pick up the phone and talk to that young woman who was allegedly engaged? When we talk on the cell phone or check our e-mails, why do we do it? Really, why do we do it at that moment. Why not let it wait an hour?

This technology is both a godsend and a vehicle that helps us stay addicted to the speed of our lives.

This technology can help us find compassion, understanding and connection. And it can help us hide from the world and from ourselves. It becomes our responsibility to know which we are doing when we turn on the computer or cell phone.

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Dan Gottlieb Ph.D.
www.DrDanGottlieb.com
"wisdom of Sam: observations on life from an uncommon child"
trailer:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_V4QrekU1Wk

Trish, hazeleyes, and Dan,
I am sitting here smiling to myself...me, the cynic about being constantly connected is now a Blackberry user...go figure! I still relish a good conversation over tech connects and will not answer calls or respond to messages while driving. Just one more toy...