Reeve Foundation Paralysis Community

The good doctor is up for another adventure. (Having just gotten back from Taiwan.)
Stay tuned to this space. His next trip starts this week.

Rob

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Rob Gerth
Director Online Communications
Christopher & Dana Reeve Foundation
(800) 225-0292 ext. 7123
"Nothing good is a miracle, nothing lovely is a dream."

Follow us on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/reevefoundation

Today is Tuesday and I think I am just over my jet lag from Taiwan. And the sore on my butt has improved substantially. So I guess I am ready for my next adventure -- Israel. Having learned my lessons from my Taiwan disaster, I am packing an extra pair of pants in my carry-on luggage along with an extra Texas catheter. Would love to be able to pack an extra bladder, but maybe that technology will be available for my next trip!

You might ask what kind of manic nutcase would schedule to big trips this close together. Fair question. My synagogue offered this trip to Israel about six months ago. Ordinarily I would not have gone as I took a similar trip about five years ago. But my dream has always been to take Sam (my grandson who is on the autism spectrum) and family to Israel for his bar mitzvah. But after my health problems over the last couple of years, four years (he is nine) feels very far away and very iffy. So I asked Debbie if she would be interested in all of us going to Israel together and when she said yes, I jumped on it. So I plan to travel a very special land with a very special child. I hope to swim with him in the Dead Sea (the only place I can swim without a life jacket) and take a boat ride on the Galilei.

This trip is a difficult one as Israel is very hot in the summer (remember the famous Desert?). But after negotiating with the airlines, after worrying about my wheelchair breaking, after hoping the bus in Israel has a workable lift, after praying that my hotel room has a shower and toilet I can use, and after all those things I get to have this wonderful experience with a child I cherish.

So if I can get Internet access, I'll keep you posted throughout the journey. If not, I'll tell you all about it when I get back.

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Dan Gottlieb Ph.D.
www.DrDanGottlieb.com

So..>The Good Dr. has been gone almost a week..any news? Sure hope things are going wonderful for him over in the Land.

So much to say and so many stories that I will do it in pieces.  The trip was magical, difficult, fun, deeply spiritual, difficult, intimate and wonderful, difficult worth every minute.

My first three days:

 

We just never know what the next moment holds for us, we assume we do and that gives us the illusion of security. But on a trip to a place like Israel, we can even pretend to know what will be happening around the corner.

  This was the case last week on the first day of our adventure to the holy land.  I sat overlooking the beauty of the Galilei in northern Israel with my precious grandson Sam, my daughter, son-in-law and 25 soon to be dear friends from my synagogue in South Jersey.  I had been to this beautiful and interesting land twice before, but this trip was about living out a personal dream.  I wanted to introduce Debbie the land of our ancestors and tell her about my deepest wish to have Sam come back here for his bar mitzvah. So there we were sitting on the grounds of a kibbutz, watching the body of water that Jesus is said to have walked on, just trying to absorb the meaning of the moment.

 

Bedtime was early that night as we had arrived that morning after a 12 hour flight.  So shortly after my nurse put me into bed, she plugged in my wheelchair as we routinely do, but this time was different.  The battery charger blew out all of the circuits and in turn blew out the charger.  All of a sudden being in a remote part of an exotic land on the Sabbath went from a deep spiritual experience to: "holy s**t, what now?"

I could add a little more drama to the story like how the wheelchair almost ran out of charge before we got a new charger, but everything was resolved in 36 hours.

Just like a dead charger was unexpected, so was the group's response to seeing the new one.  We had been promised that it would be in the lobby of a hotel in Haifa when we arrived the next day but all 25 of us were nervous about it.  And when we saw the brown box in the lobby there was an air of anticipation but when we plugged it in and found success, there was applause.  Debbie later told me that when she heard that applause, she felt like she was part of a large caring support network for the first time in her life.

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Dan Gottlieb Ph.D.
www.DrDanGottlieb.com

The people

It is said that when you put two Israelis together and you have at least three opinions, probably more.  These are people who are not afraid to express their opinions and not afraid to argue about them.  But there is a quality of family in this nation state.  I guess living with existential threat every day certainly helps people feel as one.  In America, we experienced it for about 48 hours after 9/11.  In Israel, they experience it every day since 1946, if not thousands of years before.

When we experienced trauma as individuals, the effects are different than when we experience trauma as community.  When we experience abuse or disability or any other form of trauma, we experience ourselves as different from the larger culture.  But when it is a cultural trauma like 9/11 or even World War II, we share something important.  This was the case at that little hotel in Haifa when Debbie and I both felt less alone.  That feeling would only be reinforced throughout the following week.

 

Although I cherish the beauty and the history of Israel, what made this trip special was watching my family.  There was much I couldn't see because of wheelchair access, intense heat, but because I sat back, I was able to see things the others were not.  For example, we visited an ancient synagogue in what looked like a working-class Arab neighborhood.  I sat on the bus with Sam and Pat as they quickly got bored with the synagogue and returned.  In a few minutes a young boy about 10 years old came up to the bus and asked Sam his name.  He said his name was Sultan (pronounced Sool tan) and said to Sam "play football" which is soccer in most of the world? Sam said no, but he would try.  Sultan hollered something I couldn't understand to a friend or relative in an apartment building, but one of the words was football.  In a few minutes and older boy and a few girls appeared and there was my grandson playing soccer in the parking lot with a few Arab kids. I was moved to tears as I was reminded how much our children have to teach us.

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Dan Gottlieb Ph.D.
www.DrDanGottlieb.com

Sam at the wall

 

As many of you know Sam is on the autism spectrum and has his own way of looking at the world.  Some of his observations are pristine and breathtaking, some are just damn cute and some are a combination of both.

The next day we visited the old city in Jerusalem.  This is the most precious and holy site of the three Abrahamic religions and at the same time, a bustling small metropolis that looks as though it's been unchanged in 2000 years. Debbie was careful to explain to Sam the meaning of the Western Wall as one of the holiest places in the world.  When the time came, I was unable to go as the cobblestones made it almost impossible for me to pass.  Our rabbi, Barry Schwartz already had been building a relationship with Sam so he volunteered to take him to the wall where both of them prayed.

When Sam got back, he gave his mother the full report: "mommy, I know I prayered the right way because I was with the Rabbi.  But when I got done prayering, the Rabbi wasn't so I made shadow puppets on the wall.  And you know what, the sun was perfect for shadow puppets.  And I think I know why, because that is a very special place.  Anyway, when I was done that I touched the wall and one of the notes fell out and I didn't know what to do.  So I quickly picked it up and put it back in the wall and I think it will be okay now because, you know, the five second rule."

And that was Sam's experience praying with my Rabbi at a sacred place..

 

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Dan Gottlieb Ph.D.
www.DrDanGottlieb.com

The Dead Sea

 

As our time in Israel wound down, we visited the Dead Sea.  This is the lowest place on earth and a body of water that is evaporating rapidly.  It's also a body of water with a salt content of nearly 40% which makes it impossible to sustain life.  It also makes it impossible to sink!  One of my not so hidden agendas in going to Israel was to float in the Dead Sea with Sam.  It was over 100° that day, but I was determined.  So I slowly navigated my wheelchair over about 200 yards of cobblestones resting under the occasional tree.  By the time I arrived at the city, Sam had already been in there and wasn't very happy about it as he had a rash on his back and the the high salt content was painful.

When I got near the shore, three or four of my fellow travelers helped me out of my wheelchair and into a plastic lawn chair and carried me into the water.  The rest of my group slowly circled around as my nurse slid me off the chair and allowed me to float. Many were taking pictures and some were crying as Sam got back in the water just to be with his pop and then both his parents joined us.  As the four of us floated together for the first time in our lives, our group surrounded us and quite spontaneously sang a Hebrew song of joy.  There I was feeling self-conscious, grateful, loved and in love all at the same time.

It everything I dreamed and more.  I fell in love with the land, my fellow travelers, my religion and my family all over again.

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Dan Gottlieb Ph.D.
www.DrDanGottlieb.com

What great stories.  Thanks for sharing them.

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Trish

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's learning to dance in the rain."

One-story I haven't told, and it is a dead sea story. As you know the day I swam in the Dead Sea it was over 100°.  So while I floated with my family, my wheelchair waited patiently on the shore.  When I was done, my fellow travelers carried me out of the water on that plastic lawn chair and placed me on a brick path right next to my wheelchair.  I sat there for 10 minutes or so waiting to try out as I was a bit concerned about sitting on moisture.  I was also concerned about my Texas catheter being wet.  I was also concerned about the heat and dehydration.  So these were my concerns when three or four people picked me up from the lawn chair and placed me in my wheelchair.  So because I was thinking about all of those things and many more, I didn't notice when they placed my wet feet on the burning metal foot plates.
Ouch
there are many good things that came out of this.  First -- I have no sensation.  Second -- because I have second-degree burns on the bottom of both of my feet, the doctor told my I could do no weight bearing until they were healed!  Third -- I can now torment the nurse who was on duty that day because like me, she was thinking about all those other things and forgot to think about my feet.  So I get great sadistic pleasure by saying things to hurt like: "when you make my breakfast, a careful not to burn my toast -- you know'"  or like when I told her I have been craving filet of sole.

Fried battery chargers, fried feet and I would still go back in a minute.  All of the problems I have faced on all of my trips are temporary and resolvable.  And knowing the way minds work, I will forget these difficulties long before I forget the beauty and excitement of these adventures.

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Dan Gottlieb Ph.D.
www.DrDanGottlieb.com

This was a truly touching story Dr. Gottlieb. As a SCI paraplegic, I can so relate to your wish to float in the miraculous Dead Sea. And, the way you describe your family and friends reaction to you, and your experience of floating with them...........well.........it was just......inspiring. Thank you for describing it.......and making it so real for us !..........peace and love.....Norma