*Recently, I received a request from a friend looking for a little terminology help with the term “differently-abled.”
here's my reply.
Disability Terms 101
In the written language, the most widely accepted term is "individuals with disabilities" or an individual with a disability. This I believe is from the PC movement in the late 80's early 90's when disability activists emphasized the importance of using people first language.
However, this translates very poorly into the spoken word, e.g. "Where is the restroom for individuals with disabilities?" doesn't work. Since you asked more about everyday interactions, I say you can just forget about trying to work that little mouthful into your conversations or questions.
Unfortunately, or fortunately (who wants us all to be the same?) each individual within the disability community* probably has a preferred term or way to be addressed. Safe terms would be; disabled...and/or simply listening to how the person refers to themselves and going with it. I tend to say "I have a disability" or the socially unpopular "I can't do this..." I don't see this in a negative way. I see it as helpful and stating the obvious. I've tried that and it didn't work. I prefer reality to over-stated optimism.
To my ear, "differently-abled" does sound kind of weird…unfortunate images of people playing the piano with their toes comes to mind. However, it's no more off-putting than others I have encountered. These are the terms that I would definitely avoid:
Your condition
Crippled
What’s wrong with you?
What happened to you? (when coming from people who don't know you this can be demoralizing)
Do you have MS or CP? Don’t start guessing…it's startling to realize someone might think you have more limitations than you do.
My best advice for disability terminology is to say hello to the person or simply sit quietly in a group and listen to the interaction. You are likely to be embraced for your inherent coolness and likely to hear even more terms...spaz, gimp, headbanger, wheelie person, handicapable that are okay to use. ONLY in fun and ONLY if invited (I invite you to use any term you choose). If you cannot tell if you are invited, best practice is to stick with first names and continue to smile/be friendly.
Also, if you approach someone (in a wheelchair, with a cane) and say hello and they are rude, 1. they are probably surprised and feeling insecure and/or 2. they're just an angry bitter, not nice person...avoid as you would under any other circumstance.
Hope that was helpful.
Amanda
*There's a whole dissertation that could be written on "Is there actually such a thing as a disability community?"
