FamilyLife Forums

No one is ever really totally prepared to spend forever together, it is so much more complex than we ever imagine while we have stars in our eyes.  What do you wish someone had told you about marriage?

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Happily Married to the World's Best Husband!! :)

That my inlaws were jerks.

Other than that I wish someome would have told me how to iron without burning my hands. It would have saved many rough discussions about taking care of clothing.

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Know Thyself ~ Socrates
Bob Porter: Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately.
Peter Gibbons: I wouldn't say I've been missing it, Bob!

How about some things I'm glad I knew before I got married.

1.  I learned before I got married, that you don't just marry the man.  You marry the whole family.  My husband's parents are part of who he is.  His brothers make up part of his background.  They are all part of him.  If I had not loved his family, I would have thought very seriously about marrying him.

2.  The second important thing I learned, I learned about 6 months after I got married.  My husband and I were fussing about something, and I was trying to tell my mom what was going on.  She basically told me that I needed to be talking to him (DH) about it, not her.  That men were not mind readers and I needed to stop expecting DH to read my mind.  And that communication was very very important in a marriage.

I'm glad I married my best friend and not just the first guy I fell in  love with.  I'm also glad that I know marriage is hard work and that love is a choice, not a feeling.  There was something else.........  Oh yeah.  I'm glad that while we can talk about anything and everything, we are also very comfortable with the silences.

Hugs,
Melinda

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Oh, so here's where I put my signature. Unfortunately, I don't have anything cute or profound to say today. :)

SabrinaFair:

No one is ever really totally prepared to spend forever together, it is so much more complex than we ever imagine while we have stars in our eyes.  What do you wish someone had told you about marriage?

 

"DON'T!!"(Just Kidding!!!) LOL

Seriously, I wish someone had told me to "EXPECT the UNEXPECTED"  ....through the years, MANY things will happen...family/friends will die, get sick, have "emergencies" that you never dreamed they'd have...and sometimes, even those things may happen to you or to your spouse....and you have to be "prepared" with your faith in God.

Blessings!

bestofky

 

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"God is more interested in changing US than in changing our circumstances. If we allow God to change us, then He'll guide us in how to change our circumstances."

If we "deserved it", it would not be "MERCY".

I was told something I wish I had heeded.

That the time would fly by and one day you would wish you were just starting out.

It really has....  I feel like a moment ago we met, I saw those eyes, and we got married. 

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"Wimpy Christians won't survive spiritual warfare" - Carman


"And He is dressed in a robe dipped in blood and His name is called, "The Word Of God". {Revelation 19:13}

Best advice we got before we got married was that there would be days that we would wake up and just not like that person in bed with us. Maybe even hate them, but it was okay because the feeling would pass. It was normal. You know what, they were right. We often pass that bit on to friends getting married.

The pastor who married us, said durning our wedding as he looked at us "You have NO idea what you are getting into, as I look out at those sitting here today, I know that some of them know, but you? You have no idea." At the time we thought he was being criptic, and even a little rude, but boy howdy was he right!!!!

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"No honey, those shoes are too small."

SabrinaFair:

No one is ever really totally prepared to spend forever together, it is so much more complex than we ever imagine while we have stars in our eyes.  What do you wish someone had told you about marriage?

Well, I've been thinking about this all night....and among the things I wish I had been told before marriage are:

1.  (In today's "lingo") :  There are NO "DELETE" buttons and very FEW "EDIT" buttons in a marriage.  THINK very long and hard before saying or doing something in anger, hurt, or retaliation.  Hurtful words and actions CAN NEVER be ERASED...only forgiven, through much change in attitude and behaviors. 

2.  (Accompanying #1 is this): Don't RELY on your "FEELINGS"!!  DON'T be quick to "voice" your feelings...feelings are "fleeting"...but hurtful words said and behaviors done based upon those "fleeting" feelings can (and often do) last a lifetime...(and sometimes even trickle down to your children and grandchildren).   SOME THINGS ARE BETTER LEFT UNSAID!  (Believe it or not, your spouse does NOT NEED to know every "feeling" you have about things!)

3.  One of my dearest friends at work told me that her grandmother told her, "You and your spouse will 'fall in and out' of love with one another MANY times during your marriage...the 'trick' is for both of you to NOT 'fall out of love' at the same time!" 

Blessings!

bestofky

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"God is more interested in changing US than in changing our circumstances. If we allow God to change us, then He'll guide us in how to change our circumstances."

If we "deserved it", it would not be "MERCY".

I like all the above.  But, I also wish someone had told us the importance of reading marriage building books together.  Reading together has allowed us to talk through a lot of things.

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Married To The Best & Looking Forward To The Rest

I wish someone had told me about FOCCUS to help us prepare for our marriage.

Blessings!
KW

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Hebrews 4:12 (NIV)
For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

Ky Wildcat:

I wish someone had told me about FOCCUS to help us prepare for our marriage.

Blessings!
KW

 

OK--I'll "bite"!  What IS "FOCCUS"????

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"God is more interested in changing US than in changing our circumstances. If we allow God to change us, then He'll guide us in how to change our circumstances."

If we "deserved it", it would not be "MERCY".

bestofky:

Ky Wildcat:

I wish someone had told me about FOCCUS to help us prepare for our marriage.

Blessings!
KW

 

OK--I'll "bite"!  What IS "FOCCUS"????

Well first it was a link in the post and if you click on it it will take you to their website.

Second it stands for Facilitating Open Couple Communication, Understanding and Study.

Lastly it is a way to be mentored by a married couple while discussing issues that you will face in your marriage before you are married.

Thanks for asking!
KW

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Hebrews 4:12 (NIV)
For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

would it have made difference???

TheBranches:

would it have made difference???

According to research it does.

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Hebrews 4:12 (NIV)
For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

Ky Wildcat:

bestofky:

Ky Wildcat:

I wish someone had told me about FOCCUS to help us prepare for our marriage.

Blessings!
KW

 

OK--I'll "bite"!  What IS "FOCCUS"????

Well first it was a link in the post and if you click on it it will take you to their website.

Second it stands for Facilitating Open Couple Communication, Understanding and Study.

Lastly it is a way to be mentored by a married couple while discussing issues that you will face in your marriage before you are married.

Thanks for asking!
KW

I like the mentoring idea before marriage and I think that would have been nice to have as well as I  wish we had a couple that would have mentored us even afterwards. 

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Never to neglect spiritual and sexual intimacy.  Both are very important!

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