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My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for awhile and have had no luck. I am totally stressed about it and I feel like I am alone... it seems like everyone I know is getting pregnant and I get really upset when people tell me that they are pregnant. Infact I usually end up crying about it when I get home. We have been off birth control for five years. Any suggestions?

Well, I was GOING to say that as soon as you stop stressing about it, and relax, then you will get pregnant.  I was GOING to say, it's all in God's timing.

And then I read your second to last sentance.  Have you been actively trying for 5 years or just off birth control for 5 years?  How old you are is another issue.  Do you have any problems like endometriosis?  I know that I had to get my thyroid levels right to conceive my second child.  ALL of these can be factors.

But...... they also say that if you are "young," and "healthy" and you've been trying for (I think it's 2, but it may be 1) ... if you've been trying for awhile, then it might be time to consult a fertility doctor. 

Don't freak out.  I know you want children (I can hear the longing in your type).  But it really is in God's timing.  And there are also TONS of children out there that need homes.  Praying for you.

Hugs,
Melinda

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Oh, so here's where I put my signature. Unfortunately, I don't have anything cute or profound to say today. :)

I am sorry you are having such a difficult time.  First, I would talk to your doctor.  They do say if you have been trying to become pregnant for a year with no success you need to talk to your doctor.

Second, I can completely relate and understand your pain and frustration.  I was where you are at 10 years ago.  I have never been able to get pregnant, even with fertility drugs.  We stopped prior to going the IVF route like our doctor wanted us to do.  We could not do that.

My husband and I have two wonderful children - albeit challenging with special needs - through the miracle of adoption.  God called us to adopt, which is why I was never able to get pregnant.  God has given us the strength to manage our kids' special needs and being an adoptive family.  We couldn't get through it without Him.

I can totally relate to crying when you find out someone is pregnant.  I did that - a lot.  My younger brother and his wife had two pregnancies (their first they miscarried) while we were trying to become pregnant and going through the adoption journey.  It was a very difficult time.  I wasn't able to go to baby showers because the pain was too much to bear. 

We even had a failed adoption, where the birthmother changed her mind after we had the baby for a week.  We were just devastated and thought we would never have a child.  It was 15 months later that we received the call that our son was born and we flew out to see him.  He was 30 hours old the first time I held him.

Let me know if you need someone to talk to.  I have recently started a blog that talks about my kids' special needs if you're intereseted in reading it.  It is http://twospecialneedschildren.blogspot.com

 

 

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Cassandra

Check out my blog: http://twospecialneedschildren.blogspot.com

I was so stressed about getting pregnant too. I have endometriosis, and was told I would need treatments to try to get pregnant.  I gave up on the idea of getting pregnant on my own, and stopped stressing about it.  I just didn't think about it... and I got pregnant the next month. My second baby was a surprise... we weren't even trying and using barrier method birth control and still got pregnant.  I think that the stress of it all really throws your system out of whack. I cried as every one I knew became pregnant and I could not... I can relate to how you feel. I was there...  I will keep you in my prayers. Fell free to ask me any questions.

Thanks for the suport, i have seen a doctor and she just says everything is normal... keep trying. So that's what I am going to do. I have my next follow up next month so I will keep you posted.

interesting, I actually talked to one of my friends about adoption as well. She adopted 2 children about 2 years ago. She has been very informative.

It's nice to know I am not the only one that gets so upset about this. My poor husband has to hear me cry about this too often. It seems like everyone I know has gotten pregnant twice.

I am hanging in there and will see the doctor again next month.

My husband and I have been through it all.  My endometriosis, his infertility, two failed in-vitros, IUIs, his shots, my shots, his vericocelectomy and one adoption.  We finally have 3 children we conceived outside of any drugs or in-vitro and one adopted.  God was there every step of the way, it was definitely His timing!  Be patient and wait on the Lord, and keep the faith.  Remember to thank Him and praise Him because He knows what's best for you.  I know how hard it is I promise I've been there and there are a lot more people in your situation than you know.  There are many reasons why you could be experiencing this situation.  My suggestion is to find an experienced fertility Dr you can trust.  I'll be praying for God to comfort you!!!

cookmz:

Thanks for the suport, i have seen a doctor and she just says everything is normal... keep trying. So that's what I am going to do. I have my next follow up next month so I will keep you posted.

If everything is normal with you, what about your husband?  Has he seen a doctor?

Yep, he's been checked too. Everything came up normal :-)

 

Here are some tips I found to improve chances of conceiving:      
Consumption of fish contaminated with polychlorinated biphenyls (PCBs) may reduce the ability of women to conceive.

Back when I was trying to get pregnant the Dr. had me take my temperature every morning before I got out of bed. My temp tended to run low at that time of day, but I was able to determine whether or not I was ovulating by tracking the slight rise(at least a full degree higher than normal) in my temp upon ovulation. After I ovulated, my temp would stay elevated until the day before I started a period. When I did get pregnant my temp stayed up the duration of my pregnancy.

It might tell you whether and when you are ovulating. Just a suggestion.

Thanks everyone for all this advise! I have been reserching everything I can through the internet and reading tons of books. Not to mention all the advise I have gotten from some friends.

One particular friend told me that she used egg whites as a lubricant when her and her husband were trying. (they had tried for two years w/ not luck.) Well when she was ovulating she used actual egg whites as a lubricant! That sounded a little wierd to me but I thought... "why not reserch that too and see what you can find." So I googled it and found that tons of women have used it, most of which got pregnant first try. I also looked at the negative posts on some forums and a one or two people got vaginal infections. :-(

Good news though! There is a lubricant on the market called Pre Seed that works with the sperm and keeps them mobile. Well, needless to say I opted for the dr recomended lubricant other then the egg whites. I orded it yesterday and hopefully it will work.

Oh, one more thing... I just found out that our really good friends are pg... this one was really hard... He has only been home from Iraq for 3 weeks! And she was considered high risk for infertility. Urrrghhhhh!

Anyways... when its God's will he will bless my husband and I :-) Please keep praying for us.....

Yes, when it's God's will, He will bless!  

The most important ingredient, is your FAITH = confidence in Him.  He knows what is best and the right timing of things. 

I pray He will give you the desire of your heart! 

~Renae

Thanks Renae! The support is really nice... I remind myself of that all day.