iamjabeksa:I am at my wit's end. I currently have my 2 daughters at home with me all day, everyday during summer vacation. I am having a really hard time getting them to pick up after themselves and generally be neat. My 3 year old's room is currently in F5 tornado status. I will direct her to pick things up and she just cries. My 5 year old is better about cleaning up. She will pick up, but in between cleaning spells, she makes huge messes. There are toys all over, clothes get changed in and out of, etc. I feel like I am spending 90% of my day chasing after them. Things are different for us right now since my son is still in the hospital. Since he has been there since April, they have been messier and messier. I feel so frustrated right now. I am tired of chasing them all day long. Any suggestions on things that work for you?
Three and five are kind of young, so I hope you are not expecting a deep clean.
However, you can expect that toys are put away before others are taken out. While it's hard now, it gets harder to teach kids these things as they get older. So time spent now will pay off in the future.
Right now, you will probably have to make a game out of it, where you help them pick up, with some sort of reward for getting done quickly.
The easiest and hardest part is to set clear expectations and see that they are met. So for example, if you set the expectation that other toys are picked up and neatly put away before new things are taken out, then you have to check on this.
You might set the expectation and for the first day, go in and remind the children they need to put things away. After a pre-set time, say one or two days, you can ratchet up the consequences, such as if they fail to do this, that they will lose the toy they are currently playing with for the remainder of the day.
If they still keep doing this, then you ratchet up the consequences even more, like losing both toys for the day, or a longer period. However, at this age, it's likely a day is about the right amount of time that means anything to the kids.
There is nothing wrong with putting a halt to play time if they are not keeping things neat.
On the parental side of things, is it possible they just have too much stuff? I know my daughter had too much stuff and things were much better when I gave a bunch of it to other families and to charity.
I had her cut her toys in 1/2 by picking those she wanted to give to children who didn't have as much as she did.
God didn't send His son to make us happy, He sent His son so we could be Holy!
