DEAR MAZIEQUEEN,
YES I HAVE BEEN IN A BROKEN ENGAGEMENT. I LOVED THE guy ALOT AND HE WALKED OOUT ON ME. I CAME WENT TO HIS HOME ONE EVENIN AND HE PACKED HIS stuff AND WAS GONE. HE BAILED. I MEAN YA SEE WHAT HAPPENES WHEN PEOPLE DONT SAY I LOOOVVVEE YOU. HE HAD IT ALLL. I GAVE HIM LOVE.
NOW THE IM SOOOOOOOOO GLAD THAT IM NOT WITH HIM NOW, I MEAN IT HAD TO BE A GOD THING. HE WAS INTO THE DRUGS.(WITHOUT MY OK) HE LIED PLUS HE WAS IN JAIL A NUMBER OF TIMES SO HEY IM MUCH BETTER OFF. I THINK HE MUST HAVE BEEN ONE OF THOSE KIND OF MEN WHO DOESNT SEEM TO FIND A WOMAN ATTRACTIVE AFTER THE AGE OF 25. AND OF COURSE TO HIM IT MUST BE POSSITIVLY OVER THE HILL. I WINDER HOW IS IS NOW WHEN HES IN HIS MID 30S. SHEEEEEEESH.
My heart hurts for you.
I went through a broken engagement. It was one of the hardest things I have ever gone through.
I did marry later (someone else), but I dare to say that the broken engagement was more difficult emotionally that a later separation in my marriage.
There's something about the "what might have beens" that toys with your mind and your emotions in a way that's not productive. Mourning the loss of a serious relationship like this is very similar to mourning the death of someone in your life. Don't be afraid to grieve and not be ok for awhile,
THEN....
Know that these are no where near the best days of your life. Those are ahead of you, and with time, this will be easier.
It is very hard to go through this personally, and then there is all of the fall-out of telling people that the marriage is off. God is good and has had your spouse planned since before he created the earth. The God that does that kind of planning ahead knows what He is doing, so focus on him, and maybe take up a passion that you have and dive into it for a bit. Getting out (or going in) to do something you really love, will help your heart heal and be very content just being the you that God made you to be, without the other half that you thought He had made for you.
Yes, I have broken an engagement with my now ex husband.
He proposed to me twice, but I couldn't resist to marry him the second time he asked me. It was really romantic and I got carried away with my emotion. Do not take your parents advice for granted, because I am positive they know what they are trying to protect you from. Give this to God in prayer and surrender all your feelings to Him. Ask your parents blessings when you have a confirmation from the Lord, that he is the kind of husband He has in mind for you.
God bless!
Gladly. I do understand the pain. About 22 years ago when I was 23, my fiance of one year just stopped calling. I was dumbstruck. I confronted him, of course, and he came over and got the ring. I was a basket case. I can remember sitting on the floor, holding my little dog and just balling. "He used to love me! "He used to love me!" Our relationship was a total of three years.
I had looked at china, tried on dresses. It did take me a long time to get over it, but let me tell you, I am absolutely thrilled that God did not allow me to enter into marriage with him. At the time we broke it off, many things had come to light which should have sent me running anyway. I know right now it's hard to just thank the Lord for revealing whatever he did because your heart hurts so much. Time is not a healer, but God certainly uses it to lessen the pain. My pain is completely, completely gone.
I remember what it was like to be young and eager, eager for "life to begin," but life has begun. As hard as it seems, enjoy your singleness while you can. I was one of those people who desperately wanted to be married, and I can now see that it was because of my own insecurities, etc. I hope you don't have those problems. It's great that your parents are involved. My father had long since left our family for another woman, which was partly the reason for my issues.
I'd love to be there to give you a hug and some encouragement. I believe better things are ahead for you.
I did go through a broken engagement. It was so hard. I went through major depression following it. It was hard in so many ways. I was very close to his family also, and had already called his parens "Mom" and "Dad" for years. We had been engaged for over a year. It was hard starting over. I moved to my Dad's house to get a fresh start... I was so depressed that I needed a chance to concentrate a me for a while, not work and apartment up-keep and bills. I allowed my parents to be my support system. I cried, and cried, and cried.
I go myself involved with new friends, took some college courses (such as acting) and found new interests. I took the time to concentrate on me as an individual again. It was so difficult to do.
After we broke-up I pushed away men for a while. I didn't want a serious relationship when I met my husband.... It was a year after I broke-up w/my ex-fiance. For months he and I were only friends. I met him in March 2003, was engaged to him in Dec. 2003, and we were married in May 2004. I now have a beautiful step-daughter, and 2 beautiful daughters.
Learning to let go is so difficult. I had to let go of my ex, and his family. I was close to his WHOLE family. I still call his Aunt "Aunt", his grandmother "grandma" and have a hard time calling his parents by their names instead of mom and dad, like I had always done before. I know have wonderful in-laws, but there is still love in my heart for my ex's family.
There are many tears to wade through when you go through such an emotional event, but you also learn so much more about who you are. And in the end your relationships are better for it.
Yes I have been through one, we were engaged for 5 years, the day we were supposed to leave for the Smokey mountains to get married he told me that he didn’t wants to get married. I was crushed, and your right it is like starting over, the pain is unbearable. You find yourself confused, hurt, and in some ways broken.
Believe me it gets better, but it takes time a lot of it to get yourself together and able to start over. Don’t rush yourself and try to dismiss the pain of the situation, but eventually you will come out the other side more stronger and able to start over.
