FamilyLife Forums

Congrats mrsfitz on your new arrival!! Those eleven days must have been torture! Nathaniel was 2 days late and it seemed like an eternity!

I had a similar problem with Nathaniel. He was on formula for the first week because I had almost nothing to give him. Thankfully he was a big baby a little over nine pounds. My milk still was not in on day ten and the lactation consultant had me try this herbal stuff called "more milk plus". The stuff is like magic and now I have more milk than I know what to do with. It is all natral herbs and organic. I only took it for a few days and had results. I am going to try feeding him at *** this weekend so hopefully that will help with my mastitis problem. I agree with you though that it seems to keep them satisfied more when they get *** milk from the bottle. I am going back to work the week after next. I am anxious about that. He is staying home with my husband who works from home, but I am just anxious about how we will juggle it all. The first few weeks will be rough until we get into a routine. It's not going to be easy.

I too had a son, while the forums were down. Zachary was born on February 6. He is almost 3 monhts old. I also have a 19 month old daughter names Savannah. I am having a rougher time getting Zack on schedule, I think because of nursing (I bottle fed Savannah from 6 weeks on) it is harder to regulate a schedule.

I have never had full blown mastitis. However, I have had a clogged milk duct twice...I tried the heat, massage nothing worked to relase it until I was told a certain way to nurse to get them to release that milk that is clogged.

It is so silly sounding but it worked for me. You are supposed to lay the baby down on their back and then nurse them on all fours. It helps the gravity to help them draw all of the  milk out of that side. You may also need an antibiotic though with mastitis.

I like the idea of a parenting thread, but this one seems geared towards infants.  Maybe we should start one for those of us who have teens and pre-teens????

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Learning to go with the flow

Arrow, that's a great idea.  I'm sure there are plenty of parents here with older kids!

Harper, how's the sleep going this week?

I have a curious question.....how many of you have a family bed?  DH and I are not allowing children to sleep in our bed.  We bought an incredibly comfortable recliner for her room, so when we must sleep with her, we sleep in the chair.  We have a nice guest bed for when she get older.  It scares me to read about the people who can't get their kids to sleep in their own beds at 4 and 5.  We didn't want to start any habits like that, so we said no kids in our room.  Essie has been in her crib since the night we brought her home from the hospital.  Well, not exactly true.....she screamed straight through the first two nights she was home (niccotine withdrawal - birthmother said she didn't smoke....).  But since then, it's been her bed. 

Anyway, if you have a family bed, what do you feel are the benefits?

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Nicksbride
Our adoption journey: www.thegiftofadoption.blogspot.com

my daughter is 5 and slept next to our bed in a bassinet for the first 2 months then transitioned in her own bed and has been in her own bed since then only when we have storms do i make a pallet on the floor for her i am with you nicksbride that is your retreat and you and your mates place its not for kids in my 2 cents i have a friend with a 2 yr old and her husband lets the 2 yr old sleep with them and they disagree but i am trying to get him to see they need that one on one time as a couple and not have a 2 yr old in the mix

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Being a mom is the best and worst job but the rewards are out of this world

christiannurse:

Congrats mrsfitz on your new arrival!! Those eleven days must have been torture! Nathaniel was 2 days late and it seemed like an eternity!

I had a similar problem with Nathaniel. He was on formula for the first week because I had almost nothing to give him. Thankfully he was a big baby a little over nine pounds. My milk still was not in on day ten and the lactation consultant had me try this herbal stuff called "more milk plus". The stuff is like magic and now I have more milk than I know what to do with. It is all natral herbs and organic. I only took it for a few days and had results. I am going to try feeding him at *** this weekend so hopefully that will help with my mastitis problem. I agree with you though that it seems to keep them satisfied more when they get *** milk from the bottle. I am going back to work the week after next. I am anxious about that. He is staying home with my husband who works from home, but I am just anxious about how we will juggle it all. The first few weeks will be rough until we get into a routine. It's not going to be easy.

 

How are things going with breastfeeding for you? Has he taken to nursing ok?

Unfortunately my milk has decreased to the point where I don't have nearly enough for her. I can't seem to keep up no matter how much I pump. Sidney was a big girl too. She was 9lbs 9oz at birth. She is getting 3 bottles with breastmilk a day and the rest is formula. She's gaining weight (I'm crazy and a worrier and made my DH go out and buy a baby scale) well so I guess it's working out ok.

I dread going to the doctor with her next week because I know they are going to reem me for ceasing the breastfeeding. It just wasn't working for us at all.

DO NOT FEEL BAD that it didn't work for you breastfeeding. Trust me you tried and if you are someone who has not been around alot of nursing moms and doesn't have good support, it is very hard. It is hard anyway, but don't add the "I'm  a failure" to it as well. Don't let your dr put that on you eather. You did your best.

Trust me I'm a breastfeeding nazi, and I don't think that you should have to live up to my convictions. Because they are just that, mine. That and I think that you were not given good help in the first place which probably set you up for failure. IT is amazing how bad dr's can be at really supporting and giving good advice when it comes to this.

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"No honey, those shoes are too small."

Well we met with the lactation consultant twice last week. We found out that the reason Nate would not breastfeed is because the roof of his mouth is too narrow and cannot stick out his tougne all the way even though we had the extra skin underneath clipped. I wish that it had been checked when we were in the hospital instead of making me feel horrible that my baby would not nurse. Youare right the pediatricians do not help. They had a fit when we were given him formula because my milk did not come in until two weeks later and that was only after taken "more milk plus". Now I have more than I know what to do with. I only took it for a few days and it was amazing. Anyway the LC said that he would probably nurse in a few months when the roof of his mouth widens more. However, he is still getting only breastmilk. I have had mastitis twice in a month. They thought that if they could get him to nurse I would not get it as often. Come to find out part of the problem were the flanges on the pump being way too small. Now I would have thought they would have figured all this out before I left the hospital instead of making me feel horrible about my baby not nursing.

 

mrsfitz what ever breastmilk your baby has recieved is such a great gift. If you have a natural foods store near you try the more milk plus it really does help some women. Don't let the doctors get you down. They have no right to do that. The doctor we saw in the hospital gave me a hard time about pumping and not breastfeeding him. Come to find out Nate never would have nursed. If he was such a great doctor he would have checked that out.

 

Well I am headed back to work tomorrow. I am anxious, happy and sad about it. Nate is staying home with my husband who works from home and my grandmother is helping. So I feel a little more at ease...

I appreciate the positive words. And you are right, I was given no support just "if you love your baby you'll do this and if you choose not to then you must not care about her". I even asked for a lactation consultant in the hospital and was told that they only come down if the pediatritian thinks it's needed. My baby lost 13 ozs while I was in the hospital. I don't know what would have made it needed if that didn't. Now granted she was 9lbs 9 ozs when she was born, it wasn't as if that made her tiny! :)

My milk is all but gone now. I get less than 4 ounces a day with a pump. She's almost on strictly formula now (and will be by her doctors appointment.)

The stress that worrying about her getting enough food and her pulling away from me when I was trying to nurse, was making me into a worse mother than giving her formula ever could! I just hope that I can keep this kind of confidence that I made the decision that was best for our entire family when I face the doctor.

Christian Nurse - I hope work goes well for you! When I return to work, I know it will be difficult! Sidney will have to spend 1/2 days in daycare (my DH & I work different schedules) but God blessed us with a day care that is 4 buildings down from the office (we work in the same building). Its a hard decision to know I have to return to work right now but I'd rather have to go back now while she won't remember being in daycare and be able to be home with her in a few years!

mrsfitz you are an AWESOME mom! You did everything that you could to breastfeed and don't let anyone judge you for this choice!

 

I have been frustrated as well with the lack of support. It is like they expect you to just know how to breastfeed and expect it to come naturally. I remember the first night in the hospital Nate was screaming for hours and of course he would not breastfeed. I was told that he would when he got hungrey enough! I was so mad! There was some formula in the room and after three hours of his screaming I took some and gave it to him. He settled down and finally slept. The nurse I had was so mad and the pediatrician came in the next morning and read me the riot act.

 

Anyway the first day of work went well. It was nice to be back. I am blessed with a very flexible job and will be working from home some as well. I think that it great your little one will only need to be in daycare for half days. Things will work out for you and your family.

 

Have any of you tried setting a set betime for your little one. Nate is 8 1/2 weeks he usually goes to sleep at night between 9:30 and 10:30. He sleeps until 6am. We are trying to get him to move his bedtime a little earlier so we could have some time for the two of us. I am up at 4am to get ready for work so if he gets up earlier that would be fine. Do you think it is too early? We tried laying him down earlier when he started to get sleepy, but he wakes right back up and screams. Anyway, any thoughts....

mrsfitz05:

The stress that worrying about her getting enough food and her pulling away from me when I was trying to nurse, was making me into a worse mother than giving her formula ever could! I just hope that I can keep this kind of confidence that I made the decision that was best for our entire family when I face the doctor.

Are you sure I didn't write this?  I cannot tell you how similar our experience with breastfeeding has been!

At 6 weeks Avery started fussing and pulling away from me while she fed and was obviously not getting enough breastmilk.  I could get 12oz. of breastmilk in a 24 hour period (that was pumping ONLY twice a day).

I feel so guilty.  I have not told my MIL or SIL (they will have something unsupportive to say).  Avery is now formula fed exclusively.  I feel horrible, especially when she has a BM now, she cries (I think it scares her).  It makes me want to cry!

She is sleeping from 10-5/6 now - YAY!

Harper -

I totally know all about the guilt. I am so overcome with guilt and anxiety about everything concerning Sidney. But the breastfeeding is the worst. I was so committed to this when I started and even before she was born. Fortunately, both my family and my SILs (my MIL passed away several years ago) are supportive of me doing what was best for everyone involved. My DH is even kind of glad because now he can take a bigger part in feeding.

And as for the sleeping, Sidney is only 4 weeks and isn't sleeping that long but I can tell a marked difference when she has formula. She is clearly more satisfied with the formula. Reality is, most of us were formula fed (I don't know anyone who either breastfed exclusively or was breastfed as a baby in real life) and we turned out healthy and fine. Our girls will too.

I had hoped to drag out the transfer to formula a little longer but that has not worked out. I am actually typing this post from the hospital. I have gall stones and pancreatitis. I will likely have my gall bladder removed tomorrow. My husband was up with the baby until 2 this morning and I woke him up at 4am with horrible pain. We've been at the acute care center and then the hospital since 7 this morning. He's had to miss work, take care of me while juggling the baby and he had a phone interview for a promotion and transfer (back home - YEA!!) this morning.

Any prayers that you guys cna send our way would be appreciated. DH is picking my stepmom up at the airport as we speak to take care of the baby while I'm in the hospital so he can be with me if I need surgery. I have to be away from my baby tonight. It's breaking my heart in two.

I will be praying for you. I am so sorry to hear about you being so sick. Gall stones are so painful! Please take care and know you are being held up in prayer before our Mighty Lord. Take care....

hey there.. I just read your first post. I read that book too and put both of my daughters on babywise. They were great sleepers because of it. I also have a nursing  background. Great book. As far as your napping thing. You said it recently changed?  Have you been eating anything different? Anything new going on in your life? Stress things like that?

Also I saw that you avery at 6 weeks started to pull away. This happened with me with my first born. I felt like such a failure because she was not getting enough milk and ended up putting her on formula. Do you think for one min you are a falure. My first born just was not a aggresive eater. I had my second child and *** fed for 8 months. So it might be just avery. Did you also say that avery has hard bm?? If I read that right..this happened as well with my oldest. If you want pm me if that is possiable. Maybe I can help you.

Congratulations on the birth of your son! I desperately wanted to nurse my first but had trouble from the start. First of all i was induced at 36 weeks to the day and he was born via emergency c-section. I never made enough milk and had to supplement with formula. By 3 months i was only getting 2oz a day via pumping. It was like i started drying up before i ever got started. But he survived and is a very healthy preschooler. He has had only one earinfection in his whole life and he has been sick maybe a handful of times. BUT he has never gone to daycare and I did not leave him in the nursury at church until he was almost a year old. I also donot allow nursery staff to change his diaper and I do not allow him to take a cup or food w/ him to class. I have noticed that the few times he has gotten sick it was when i had let him take his cup or his breakfast to class. I bet he shared and the other kids shared their germs! I was able to nurse successfully w my second child. BUT he came on his on time and he was full term and by vbac. My recovery was a breeze comparedto the c-section and I knew what to expect and i was already "toughened" by my attempt to nurse my first. I felt so very guilty about not being able to nurse my first but in retrospect I did do my best and i can not say that having formula adversly effected his developement. I just cringe at the mention of mastitis i never had it and i hope that yours clears up. I know that it must be so very painful.Bless your heart. You mentioned that your husband works from home. What does he do? I am looking for stay at home or telecommute jobs myself. It seems like everybody who works at home is either in sales or worked in an office for a company and then had the option of working from home. Right now the only jobs i've been able to find are medical ins jobs ( but they want me to live in a certain area that I don't live in of course) or online professors for online schools (but i would have to get my masters and still teach some classes at the college). I just don't want to go back to school just to find out that the job i just trained for is'nt for me.