Even if you don't have paid time
off, does that mean you can't get time off if a child is sick, etc?
He said, and I quote: "Additional time off will not be available. I will not TOLERATE anyone taking advantage." "My other twelve girls don't have a problem with it" "So, since you are separated, what will you do with the chilren?"
I mean if the only problem with this job is that your time off is not paid, I'm thinking that you could make this work.
The
other thing is why assume that you are the one who has to take a day
off if a child is sick. Just because you husband doesn't want to be
involved doesn't mean he gets to run away from his responsibility.
My husband abused the kids. One of them is a stepchild who he finally said outright that he disowned although he did so in spirit, in word and in deed for a year's time.
That child does not want to be around him and would likely be abused if he was.
Because of the documented abuse, he can only have supervised visits with the children. It doesn't matter, cause he doesn't even care how they are and wants a divorce, according to others.
Additionally, he made plans to move 1,500 miles away a few months ago and won't get a place here, so yes, he doesn't plan on living here and doesn't even have a home. He's just hoarding the money.. it won't save him. He has no feasible opportunity (from 1,500 miles away if he's already gone - I don't know - or in the future when he does go. And he has no ability - no home. By choice.
So, yes, I assume it. I've been a mom to these children in the absence of my husband for their entire lives, excepting the last time we were married (under a year) and this time (a year).
Let
him know that you have taken a job, and your time off is unpaid, so
every other time a child is sick at home, you'll be bringing that child
to him and he can re-arrange his schedule just like you have to
re-arrange yours when your turn comes up.
This brings to mind that my husband has always turned me down in that regard - except when we were reconciling.. so, I've always been left alone. He refused to cooperate until reconciliation was an option.
If he complains,
simply tell him this is a situation of his creation, and he is free to
find childcare on his days, if he cannot change his schedule. You
might remind him that if would stop his inappropriate behavior, you
wouldn't be out looking for a job.
We have had this discussion prior (like when I was on Contract) and he refused because he said he earned more money than me so regardless of whether or not my employers liked it (and I lost my job) that I should be the one to take the time off. Since he was the leader of the family, I did not fight him on it.
Then, after the separation, when I was trying to work - he refused to help me. He just paid the rent and utilities until his lease expired. (I wasn't on the lease - he said this would be better for all of us, in truth, it just meant he could try to throw us out, which he did try to do, but failed at). He's not even paying his child support or daycare obligations at this time - but maybe he will before the end of the month. There is always that hope.
I don't think it's wise to dismiss this opportunity just because any time off is unpaid.
I mispoke. The additional time was not allowed. Additionally, I can not AFFORD unpaid time off. There are two children and myself. Assuming we each only get sick once a year like some do (even though two of us have chronic illnesses), and assuming it's only 3-4 days in duration, I would already be "out" one week's pay. Since my husband is refusing his financial obligations and fuel, utilities, finance charges, food and gas are all sky-rocketing, I can't (literally) afford food on my budget and have to go to pantries. If I am in that predicament, i won't be able to afford time off. Even if only two of us got sick.
In either case, I sent him a follow up to the interview to thank him for his time and the opportunity and to wish him well in his search. Of course, he never replied.
Nevertheless, I sent out more resumes last night and intend to do that moreso today. I received one immediate call back, but, nothing today.
No sign of the husband. I'm going to sell my ring today or tomorrow.
I'm so lost...
