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sanderson28025:I kid, but I'm having some mental issue's that I'm struggling to deal with and I was wondering if anyone else could relate or had insight on what happens next. Long story short, my wife and I had a major talk about us not ''being in sync'' for a few weeks and so I asked her about it. She brought to my attention that I'm not the ...
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TimD65:NIV, now why would you say that? I was just asking what I felt to be a legitimate question about God's grace and forgiveness.
Tim,
Sorry, I misunderstood. God bless you my brother. Please forgive me.
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TimD65:
Since there isn't a proper forum for this, I'll post it here.
I think we can all agree with the verse that says if we confess our sins, He will forgive us. The question I have is: Does this apply to future sins? If we know we are about to sin and ask for forgiveness immediately prior to committing the sin, are we forgiven? As in ''God, ...
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As far as fixing the divorce problem, prevention is better than cure, as you stated. Unfortunately, we all live behind the hindsight curve.
Until a man knows there is a problem, he has to run around and cover all of the bases. He's not likely to do this because he has no idea there is a problem and he won't fix what is not broken and in his pride,
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Good advice, Renae
Confused,
until your wife sees her bad, you are going to get blamed for everything.
Your wife says
โI donโt care if you go, and I donโt care if you donโt go you do whatever you wantโ
Then she proceeds to get upset with the pastor when he points out what a cruel thing to be said?
Then she tells you that she would never ...
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I've been clean for 12 years. Christ gets all of the credit. I don't have any formal counselor training. I do know there are websites and books out there for addicts, though I have never read them. Maybe someone else can recommend something.
You state that you ''love your wife and would never cheat on her''. This is what I thought and was ...
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I believe you have valid concerns and you should not allow your daughter to go over there until you know for a fact it is more stable. Maybe invite them to your home but not the other way around.
Your daughter does not need to understand in order for you to put your foot down. It is okay to protect her. My girl gave me many grey hairs ...
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You are not crazy, he is.
Ask him if he minds if you bring this before your sunday school class/your parents/his parents/close friends to see who is right or wrong.
I would even go so far as to throw a big fit until he stops all contact.
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You really should get professional counsel to see what the true damage is.
Right now, you may be too sensitive.
I've been there as well. I've confessed things to my wife that needed to be confessed. But also, because I was in a certain stage of grief, I was confessing and blaming myself for ridiculous stuff.
It had the opposite effect. It
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Do you think he has any thought on how much it hurts you?
I knew what I was doing was against what God wanted. I knew He was forgiving every time I asked.
What I did not realize was mental anguish I was putting my now exwife through or the barriers I was building and the damage I was causing my wife and children's future.
I was deceived
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Don't fold and give into her every whim.
Yes, you made mistakes. However, two wrongs do not make a right, meaning she does not get to walk all over you or discard your marriage because you were controlling or may have been controlling.
She is all emotion at this point...so are you because you are trying to hold your marriage together.
Be the ...
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Does he understand there is a problem when you confront him?
Or, does he think you are too sensitive and that this is a normal thing for a red blooded male to do?
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I'm not sure I can help, but I am able to question and comment.
Has your wife experienced sexual abuse as a child?
My ex did not enjoy having sex with me. I too, was hurt from being rejected. It was not only her fault nor was it all mine. It was the baggage that we both carried into our marriage. Then we both proceeded to putting up ...
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kgroff22:My wife has joined Facebook and has found a lot of old friends from high school and made some new friends.  My problem is that she has also become friends with her ex-boyfriend.  Now we have been married for 7 years, we are both born again Christians, and she actually asked me if it would be ok to ask him to be her friend on ...
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Gabby50:
Why don't you ask? After all, maybe she is ''off limits'' because she is seriously dating but not engaged, or considers herself off limits for other reasons.
If she *is* married, it might make her rethink the issue of wearing a wedding band...
Wow!
Then I would have to stop being chicken. I'm praying for princess charming to ...
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Thanks for the responses.
I had a thought about my own marriage: I wore my ring faithfully,but was not always a good husband. So I guess the ring wearing can be legalistic. It would have been better if I treated my wife with love than to wear a ring.
Anyway, where I am at now, it sure would be nice to know if who is off limits.
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Tech Harris:I'm an auto mechanic. I don't wear rings, watches or anything except clothes. However outside of my work I do try to remember to put my ring on. But only on weekends. We've been married almost 31 years. I couldn't act single if I had to.
This I can understand.
But, my minister and his wife do not wear rings. They ...
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Why don't married women...or men, where their wedding band?
I was sitting in church today, I saw an attractive woman but no ring. I thought at one time she was married. She was sitting alone.
Then, I glanced at couples who I knew to be married. Some wore rings and some did not.
I'm not a stalker. That woman is safe from me, I have been divorced ...
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My theory is that every hardened hearted wife has someone else in mind, even if it is a ''somewhere in the future I am going to find a man better than my husband'', which she will also totally deny.
I have been trying to work out things in my own mind, please bear with me.
Tim, you wrote
''Winning her back''
I'm thinking focusing on God is ...
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One thought is you may just be grieving. My dreams got really stange during my grief. I would spend all day trying to figure out what they meant. In hindsight, they meant nothing at all. During this time I watched a dream interpreter on a christian channel. His views were plain bizzare.
I would say not to make too much of it.
What a horrible
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I saw Dr. Kevin Leman being interviewed. He has a book called ''Have a New Kid by Friday''.
Everything I saw in the interview sounded good.
Blessings
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I'm not suppose to be posting here.
I just wanted you to know I said a prayer for your marriage.
Also, when my exwife cheated and left me, I loved her so much, I was placing blame on everybody but her. Don't discount your husband's actions. Confrontation is good. Go to the men's forum and look at a I have posted there concerning David ...
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another name,
I sort of know what you are going through and I am sorry.
The Christians who I relied on the most to restore my marriage did the most damage. That still makes me angry at times(it's been 5+ years). I was not asking that they take my side. I was wanting them to look at all of the facts and then make their decision. It is infuriating,
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One of my passions is for children that I personally know of who come from a divorced family. It usually seems to me that even the biological parent is treating their children like stepchildren. The parent is hurt and so into themself that they don't take notice of their children. The kids get pawned off on grandparents or even left alone while the
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Is your husband a strong father figure?
The reason I ask is that I had to put the fear of dad back into my kids after them being gone for 2-4 years.
I was gentle on them at first because I felt badly about the divorce. Now, I mean what I say, and say what I mean.
Their ages are 15-20. They don't intimidate easily. They can see right through me ...
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We have had some screaming matches when my 3 of 4 kids moved back home with me. I have allowed them to vent. But, I also had to tell them that they can vent, but don't cross the line of disrespect for me or for their mother. I said I will let them talk, rant/rave, but when I think it has gone far enough and it is not constructive any longer I will ...
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Your welcome.
The book is about confrontation, something I did very little of during the worst times. He encourages anger and confrontation so the wounds won't fester and pop up somewhere else later on. Then he lets the chips fall where they may and in my case I was divorced anyway. It would have been great to say what was on my ...
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http://www.davidclarkeseminars.com/articles_view.asp?articleid=3813&columnid=
Has anyone read this article?
I have also read his book. ''I don't love you anymore''
I'm throwing it out there because in my experience it seems that tough love wouldhave been the better way.
Are there any testamonies of husbands getting their wife back by ...
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We were a family of 6, I was making $14k/yr(below poverty level). My wife was worried most of the time. I was tithing. God met our every need those years. We had some memoriable times.
I wrote Randy Wiess/Crosstalk years ago and asked him about tithing. He said the tithe was the minimum.
The local church needs funds to operate. Consitant ...
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My ex and I did not walk in agreement over tithing and finances, either. It can be shaky to say the least.
What do you do when your spouse is spending you into bankruptcy?
Looking back I should have grabbed the reigns and said enough is enough. I'm beginning to think tough love is the answer to most marriage problems.
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JaneFW,
I am a believer in tithing. If the word tithing is legalistic for you, call it something else.
IMO Prov3:9 does away with a the arguments that tithing has to do with legalism.
I couldn't make ends meet. Something would always come up. Cars repairs I couldn't afford, banks would lose my checks. I would want to give to missions, but ...
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divorce in church: New International Version: divorce in church: New International Version: divorce in church: New International Version:
What if everyone was walking with the Lord?
What if both spouses had their eyes on Christ?
That's the big picture.
You can't legislate morality.
This is true. This also suggests that no two ...
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divorce in church: New International Version: divorce in church: New International Version:
What if everyone was walking with the Lord?
What if both spouses had their eyes on Christ?
That's the big picture.
You can't legislate morality.
This is true. This also suggests that no two people walking with the Lord, and with theor eyes ...
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divorce in church: New International Version:
What if everyone was walking with the Lord?
What if both spouses had their eyes on Christ?
That's the big picture.
You can't legislate morality.
This is true. This also suggests that no two people walking with the Lord, and with theor eyes on Christ would ever divorce. That just isnt ...
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CalvinHobbs:Actually, NIV, you can ...... and the Bible has many standards and accountabilities to establish certain morality. We've discussed some of them in these divorce threads.
I guess I will have to go back and read.
I still believe it is a heart issue
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What if everyone was walking with the Lord?
What if both spouses had their eyes on Christ?
That's the big picture.
You can't legislate morality.
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I agree with Pooh that divorce is a symptom.
I think the church's problem with divorce and why God is not protecting the family may be because of the church's delight in sin. Such as:
Bad movies, sitcoms, music, video games,Not wanting to be in church, rampent porn, sports idolizing, materialism.
Placing these things importance above Godis ...
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nnancynancyy:
You might get past your anger. I pray that you do. It sounds to me like even though you are angry you have some regret. Please accept my apology for making assumptions if I got out off line but I recently went through a divorce too and I chose to do it because of sex. There was not any abuse and we had been married a long time
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chaz345: boatmen:
CalvinHobbs:I'm also cloudy as to why this ''danger'' clause must always be included in these discussions. We all know there are exceptions to every rule. Why can't we just discuss the rule without fixating on the exception????
Do tell, what is the exception to the rule of a Christian never advising ...
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Christbewithyou: New International Version: Christbewithyou: CalvinHobbs:
More often than not even the most abusive marriage can be reconciled if both spouses are sitting under church authority and families and really digging in their heels to change themselves. Sadly, what we see too often is one or both of them straying from ...
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Christbewithyou: CalvinHobbs:
More often than not even the most abusive marriage can be reconciled if both spouses are sitting under church authority and families and really digging in their heels to change themselves. Sadly, what we see too often is one or both of them straying from accountabilities by this loving peer ...
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caacji:
I recommend divorce to anyone who is thinking about it for a long time. I mean if they have thought about it its like they are moving away anyway. I dont want to be with someone who has thought about divorce and if I think about divorce I dont want to lie to someone by being with them after I thought about kicking them away. It just ...
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dallasapple:
I just wanted to clarify I would not flippantly based on one side of the ''story'' and vague details(as in the OP) just say..''you shoudl get a divorce''. to that woman.
I'm glad to know. And, I didn't think you would, most people would want to know all of the details.
I do understand the other side where the woman will ...
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I am not very passionate any more because as more time passes by my anger has subsided. I can see that people are just people and they are not my enemy, even my ex spouse is not my enemy. I can see that God is in control.
I lived this. I was accused of many things. It was wrong of the people to encourage or even suggest divorce without knowing ...
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Who is deciding what the verbal abuse is?
Have you witnessed the abuse?
How well do you know the abuser? Does he seem unreasonable. Does he come across as proud and unresponsive?
How well do you know the wife? Does she seem like she is playing with a full deck?
It is hard to know without knowing the both of them and to encourage divorce without
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Group therapy was helpful to me. I could see what was ''normal'' and what was not. I saw how everyone has struggles. Some of the struggles were the same, some I had no idea what they were talking about.
I believe no one is going to have the 100% perfect counseling session. There are too many ideas out there. We also have our own ideas. |
