FamilyLife Forums

            Ok, time for the big admittance-thingy here:

            I'm a compulsive gambler

           There....I said it....now the question is how to overcome it. Please, I desperately need

               some advice, much needed prayer & just someone to talk to about it. If you're the type

              who is going to judge me for my wrongdoings, please go elsewhere; I don't need to be made

              felt worse off than I already do. Yes, I've already saught counsel from my pastor - actually

              his wife, who told me to do only two things: 1)read the word & 2)make a list of the $ lost on

             the left side of the paper & on the right side, stuff I could've used that $ for. Believe me when

            I tell you, that I've been praying about it every night & been reading the Bible daily. I don't

              memorize verses very well. I've heard of the compulsive gamblers anonymous thing & have

             called the hotline - only to be told that I should *pay* to get help. In my own mind, I don't

              think that people, like myself should have to *pay* money, when I've lost so much already,

              for someone who is supposed to be helping me with my $ problem in the 1st place.  I know

              that this sort of thing is going to ruin my marriage in the long run - heck, we haven't even

              gotten married yet - but my fiancee is in total 100% support of me on this subject, and over-

             coming the addiction. The problem is, I'm alone at nights - it drives me crazy. I'll get done w/

             work & feel the need to do something...so then i drive 30 minutes up to the casino. Last night

            I lost about $200!!! I'm finding that I'm being secretive about where I'm going to my fiancee -

            I hate this. I fessed up last night to him, and we cried, prayed & talked about it until 4am!  He

            doesn't understand the "addiction" part of it - & i guess no one really would, unless they too've

           had an addiction of sorts. It's almost impossible to quit "cold turkey". I go thru these with-

           drawl symptoms if I don't gamble....and all of it together as a whole is starting to tear away @

            me.

         I need some advice, of where to turn to....other than being "in the word"....obviously that isn't

         working for me. I've prayed to God while I'm there to give me the strength to get up and leave,

         but I never find that it works. I feel horrible on the drive home, and even worse when I know I

        can't make my bills - and have to rely on my fiancee to make them for me! I know, you're prolly

        thinking that, "well, if she feels this way, she should stop!" It's not that easy, & like i said before -

        unless, you've had an addiction before, it's hard 2 put yourself into my shoes & say that!

        I need some prayer - that I will overcome my addiction & live a free-strong willed life.

        I need someone to talk to. Please just be a friend in my circumstance. Seriously - if you're going

        to judge me, just don't say anything. Like my mom used to say, "if you can't say something nice,

        don't say anything at all!"

 

       Thanks for listening to me, and for any advice, prayer, guidance and help.

 

 

 

---

Put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
Colossians 3:12

GloryBPhotography:

            Ok, time for the big admittance-thingy here:

            I'm a compulsive gambler

           There....I said it....now the question is how to overcome it. Please, I desperately need

               some advice, much needed prayer & just someone to talk to about it. If you're the type

              who is going to judge me for my wrongdoings, please go elsewhere; I don't need to be made

              felt worse off than I already do. Yes, I've already saught counsel from my pastor - actually

              his wife, who told me to do only two things: 1)read the word & 2)make a list of the $ lost on

             the left side of the paper & on the right side, stuff I could've used that $ for. Believe me when

            I tell you, that I've been praying about it every night & been reading the Bible daily. I don't

              memorize verses very well. I've heard of the compulsive gamblers anonymous thing & have

             called the hotline - only to be told that I should *pay* to get help. In my own mind, I don't

              think that people, like myself should have to *pay* money, when I've lost so much already,

              for someone who is supposed to be helping me with my $ problem in the 1st place.  I know

              that this sort of thing is going to ruin my marriage in the long run - heck, we haven't even

              gotten married yet - but my fiancee is in total 100% support of me on this subject, and over-

             coming the addiction. The problem is, I'm alone at nights - it drives me crazy. I'll get done w/

             work & feel the need to do something...so then i drive 30 minutes up to the casino. Last night

            I lost about $200!!! I'm finding that I'm being secretive about where I'm going to my fiancee -

            I hate this. I fessed up last night to him, and we cried, prayed & talked about it until 4am!  He

            doesn't understand the "addiction" part of it - & i guess no one really would, unless they too've

           had an addiction of sorts. It's almost impossible to quit "cold turkey". I go thru these with-

           drawl symptoms if I don't gamble....and all of it together as a whole is starting to tear away @

            me.

         I need some advice, of where to turn to....other than being "in the word"....obviously that isn't

         working for me. I've prayed to God while I'm there to give me the strength to get up and leave,

         but I never find that it works. I feel horrible on the drive home, and even worse when I know I

        can't make my bills - and have to rely on my fiancee to make them for me! I know, you're prolly

        thinking that, "well, if she feels this way, she should stop!" It's not that easy, & like i said before -

        unless, you've had an addiction before, it's hard 2 put yourself into my shoes & say that!

        I need some prayer - that I will overcome my addiction & live a free-strong willed life.

        I need someone to talk to. Please just be a friend in my circumstance. Seriously - if you're going

        to judge me, just don't say anything. Like my mom used to say, "if you can't say something nice,

        don't say anything at all!"

 

       Thanks for listening to me, and for any advice, prayer, guidance and help.

First of all, I want you to know that you are not alone in the battle against addictive behaviors.  I dare say that many (if not all) of us battles addictions of one kind or another during our lifetime. 

Secondly, GOD LOVES YOU!

I suggest that you seek out a 12-step program, such as Celebrate Recovery or Gambler's Anonymous.  If neither of these programs are available to you, then try AA.  Also, seek out a lady's bible study/prayer group.....

There are two books that I recommend you get and read:  "Feeding Your Appetites" and "Lose It for Life" both by Stephen Arterburn. 

You have made a HUGE step in overcoming your problem by the mere admission of having it, and I commend you for this....but now is when the work and commitment to it  MUST begin in order to overcome this distructive addiction.

Please know that you are in my prayers!

May God bless and guide you through this valley.

Love and Prayers,

bestofky

---

"God is more interested in changing US than in changing our circumstances. If we allow God to change us, then He'll guide us in how to change our circumstances."

If we "deserved it", it would not be "MERCY".

I encourage you to first of all make sure you've had your yearly health checkup. I have heard of people who have developed addictions when their body was deficient in something and this threw their chemistry off and caused "cravings". It is, for example, very common to have adrenal fatigue or low thyroid function, and instead of finding this by lab tests and taking supplements to correct it, they decide that they need an energy or mood boost, so they turn to caffeinated drinks, alcohol, drug use which cause more health problems, or they get addicted to some other mood boosting activity (gambling?)!
The typical American diet is is not nutritious enough and single people don't always cook healthy for one!  Many people are dehydrated and start overeating instead of consuming more water!   
 
Also, identify what the emotional need is that you are trying to feed with this addiction. You mentioned having trouble being alone. Maybe counseling could help that. Maybe you were abandoned at some time in your past?  Anyway, part of overcoming a bad habit is to substitute something better, so make a list of better things you could do after work , and write them into your daily schedule.  Plan times with your friends. Is there a sport you like? What subject would you like to research at the library?  Take a college class.  Start a new hobby. Many possibilities!

Best wishes,
~Renae

Hi Glory, I emailed you.

Also, I just read more of your posting, and no - you should not have to pay for help!  Depending in the state you are in, the state may pick up the tab for any treatment you seek, if you decide to go that route.  check your email, and contact me if you need more info.  I can help you get info if you need.  There is help out there for you!  Nor are you alone. Compulsive Gambling IS an addiction.  It's also one that many people do not think of as an addiciton.  It IS.  CONTACT me.  I'm not a professional, but I can get you some help, possibly.  I can also see if there's someone that I could get you in contact with.  I'll be praying for you.  And yes, this is something that could destroy relationships.  I have an all to well of an understanding of how well it can.

There is hope and help available to you.