I have been divorced almost 6 years and new husband for 4. We knew each other growing up and lost touch for many years. When we met up again we began dating and dated for just over a year before we married. We both brought two children into the marriage....mine are 19 (d) and 14 (s). My son only lives with me part time and I am currently battling my ex over him but that is another story and one that never would have popped up had I not remarried I think. My ex is a chaplain and part time minister who I followed faithfully for almost 15 years till he decided I was too old and too fat (but I am 5 years his junior and was a size 10).
He has a 14 (d) and a 10 (s) that he has full custody of and their mother has visitation which is alternated but they can pretty much go when they ask their Dad. He was married to his highschool sweetheart who cheated on him repeatedly throughout twelve years of marriage quietly at first but very openly the last year. Everyone knew of her wild behavior and his quiet demeanor of raising his children and letting her go till the last straw and after a year of fighting they divorced and he got the kids while she left with $5000, a truck, and a new husband. That is the background of this new marriage of 3 and a half months.
I guess my inner turmoil is that I have to still hear way too much about his ex from his family and occasionally him. They ask about her or talk freely in front of me about back when and even though they live hours away when we visit it really bothers me and I did tell him this recently. He still has a love letter he wrote her and a box under a table with their pictures in it. His mother "explained" it was for the children and never to be thrown away. I wouldn't do that but I don't want to even think about it being there. His children's pictures are like a shrine in the house. Everyone's first comment is that. He said we would blend my children's pictures with his but so far I have only been able to add a few around and there is no room to put more. He has been "getting around to fixing this" since we married in March. I am reminded every now and then by others that this was HER house with him and some of HER things like dishes are still here. Yes, I am jealous. I feel like I am battling her ghost. He does not push her down my throat but she is still here yet living 10 miles away with her new husband. I AM NOT HER! I AM NEVER GOING TO BE HER!!! I DON'T EVEN WANT TO BE HER!!!!! He says he is completely over her and moved on and swore to this when we began dating and seemed to be. I will say it is others who bring her up to me the most. When will I be MRS. and not her?
