JaneFW:Wow. It's a while since I've been here.
H.I. I did finally confront him. I can't remember without re-reading this thread where I had got to, but after I had managed to run off the ex-g/f who was the girl he wanted to marry in HS - and you don't want to know how I did that because it was probably illegal on some level - he then started chatting to another ex-g/f. By then I was exhausted. It was too much to be checking his FB and checking his email, and trying to delete things and block things. I was about to go crazy. In the meantime, we went to counseling for our first session but I bottled out of opening up about this whole thing. The first time anyway. After I saw the next (which was the third) ex-g/f showing up, I finally got tough and sat down and told him that I had seen all of these women's names on his searches and I knew he was talking to them, and I wasn't happy about any of the private contact. As might be expected, he argued that he wasn't doing anything wrong, and he was just talking, and yet again, stated that my lack of trust was the problem. After talking for quite some time, he decided that he would close his FB account, and he went straight away and did so. He also said that he wanted to talk to the counselor about it, which was a huge relief, because I hadn't wanted to propose that. I guess I'm a wuss and didn't know it!
So, we had our counseling session on Tuesday and I told the counselor what had been going on, and to my huge relief, he got straight to the heart of the matter and told my h that it was a wise decision to close his FB account. He told my h that contacting these women in private was dangerous, and that he shouldn't be doing it, and that he understood why I would be upset about that. My h was taken aback, I think. He tried to plead that he had always gotten on with women better than men - yeah, I had noticed that! - and he just wanted to chat .. but the counselor wasn't having any of it.
Part of me wanted badly, when we had left, to say "did you hear what G said, so you know that I'm right?" but I knew that the last thing I needed to do was to start going over it again. So I left it alone. Thank God I know to keep my mouth shout *some* of the time. He has stayed away from FB since. Unfortunately it's only too easy to re-open your FB account - you just put in your log in and password and it's up and running again! I'm hoping and praying he doesn't do that.
I have made some changes in the last few weeks and my h has seen that in me. This has been something of a wake-up call for me too. It's not that any changes in me can change who he is - unfortunately I think this is an area where my h is always going to be weak - but at least I can be the *best* that I can be, according to what God calls me to be, which is to be a godly wife and mother.
I'm glad all the private talks came out in the open and it was addressed with the counselor.
You are doing good Jane :)considering and sounds like you may have a good counselor.
I Love My Husband!
Go Gators!!!
