If you have read my last few blogs you might know that I have having a problem with masturbation and Im happily marry with a 8 month old daughter. My problem is getting better at times but than I hit rock bottom again. Today I didn't have my hands down there but was watching something online that I shouldnt have and got caught at work. Im not in trouble but I could have been and it would have been bad. My wife wouldn't have known about it but i feel like a jackass right now and it hurts me inside to think that I could have been in some serious trouble. Since the 25th of Oct I have control myself to one time masturbating and it was at home. Today I would have done it again if not caught casue it was leading to that. What can I do to stop this and not tell my wife about this? In the summer of 2008 my wife found out that I was looking at porn sites at home. Well I was on deployment for 7 months after that and came home in April 2009. While on cruise I try to stop looking at stuff and masturbating unless it was pictures or video my wife sent me of her. Since April I have try my best to control and stop my porn addiction and Masturbation. As my wife and i ahve a good sex life. There are times where she wants it almost everyday, sometimes twice. Than we have a breaks, no more than a few days or so. Even when we are having sex daily, I still seem to want to masturbate. I cant figure out why. When Im done masturbating I feel like I have done something very bad!!! What can I do? I need help.. and would like to solve this issue without telling my wife. If I did I woudl be considered a lier to her cause I have told her that I do not look at porn or mastubate like that. The only time i have Masturbated and she know is when she wasn't on birth control for two weeks so we did not have sex, but oral sex though. I love my family to death and do not wont this issue to effect our marriage but I know it can. Someone please give me some good advice on how to stop this. I stuck at work in front of a computer where I can access stuff with women on it half dress or naked all the time. I stuck here and i know when I get relieve from here that I will be able to control myself more but what will happen if I ever get put back in the situation. Please someone help. How do I go about my day felling like I ahve done something so wrong than turn around and do it again and again felling like crap again.........
