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Found several website address in "history" for singlesnet, affairsclub, lonelywivesclub, etc...  Is he looking for an affair?  I questioned him and he called me an idiot and said he was just looking around the web, he started with looking at woman sites (porn).  Could other sites just be pop-ups?  What should I do?  Right now, he's not speaking to me at all.  He blames me for not letting go of an affair he had several years ago...did I push him into it again by constantly accusing him?  Where do I go from here?  Anyone has the same issues? 

I do not have any personal insight into porn, but there are a few things in your post that make me want to respond.  First of all, calling you an "idiot" is really a form of verbal abuse.  Name-calling should never be done in a marriage.  If this is typical, I highly recommend seeking a godly counselor to help put an end to this. 

More than anything, though, know that you cannot "push him" into an affair.  Having an affair is a choice... it may stem from problems within a marriage, but it is a choice.  Do not take the blame for his actions.

If you have found suspicious things on the internet, I would recommend getting a filter.  Also, there are some programs that will alert you if someone in your household has gotten onto porn sites.  I had a friend use one of those to confront her husband because he always denied it when she asked. 

Remember to pray... for him and for your marriage.  If he is willing, go to a counselor together.  If he is not, take yourself to a counselor.  And, if you have not forgiven him of a former affair but have chosen to stay with him, you do need to forgive him.  Holding on to that only keeps the hurt and pain alive within your marriage.  You need to ask God to help you forgive in a way that it will never come up again unless he brings it up, difficult as that may seem.

I pray that God will be with you and guide you through this time in your marriage. 

I would get a web monitoring program...you can so a search and get a free trial online for usually 7days.  It will run invisible and you can access it by pressing certain keys and it will pop up and ask for a password you create when you install it.  Then you can view screenshots, typed items, chat room conversations etc...It doesn't matter if the history was erased.  Also you could try just typing in the address bar www. and then after the period put in the letters of the alphabet individually...sooo do www.a then www.b etc....it should bring up all websites visited that start with that letter...again not affected by if the history was erased.  There are some ways of looking at the history by looking at the files....in the .dat files...I think that's it....try a web search.  I don't have a lot of time to help right now...have to leave, but there are ways to access this information.  I'll check back later.  Prayers to you...I've been through my dh having an affair...

mainfamily01,
I bumped up an early thread called "Should I leave my husband"...I want to make sure you read what I wrote back on 8-28-09. I hope you know I wasn't advocating that you divorce your husband due to his abuse or due to unfaithfulness (porn, past affair, etc). 

What I am saying is that your pastor/counselor should confront him with truth to stop the sin and attempt to get him to to be accountable for growth. The goal is to restore your marriage & family to God's design, not to divide your family!
And in this process of restoration, if separation is necessary for a period of time to produce change, then do so with accountability for both spouses to the pastor/counselor.

As for this "Affair" thread,
(1) I agree with atgatg, that the name calling is not acceptable.

(2)  Regarding your husband's internet use, it would be best to use a filter on the computer. That way he won't perceive you as accusing. The Bible says "above all things, guard your heart...." and the Biblical design for marriage is a mutual submission that guards one another's hearts so there is less chance of the Enemy tempting individuals in their weakest area. Your motive isn't to accuse him but to keep him accountable to prevent any further sin.

(3)  Blame you for not letting go of the affair?  That's not appropriate.  He violated your trust by that affair so he has an ongoing responsibility to prove himself trustworthy, to keep healing your heart and to ensure that he will continue to be accountable to you & submitted so he won't fall into sin again.

(4)  I pray that your husband would yield to the Holy Spirit and have a change of heart and a renewed mind. 

((hugs to you)),
~Renae

Thanks for everyone's comments and prayers.  I know that it's abusive behavior and I've been to counseling by myself, he won't go.  Also, he will not be confronted by anyone (Pastor or otherwise) I tried that and he quit going to church with me several years ago and cut off some family ties too.  I'm asking for prayers...I want God to heal his heart and bring him back to him, even if we aren't together.  Please keep praying for all of us.  Thanks, 

Mainfamily01,
Thinking of you and your marriage and family, prayerfully. No situation is impossible for our God to get us through!!!  Keep believing!! 

Love to you,
~Renae