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My husband is still in the hospital and I explained (in their terms) to our boys where daddy is. He has called me daily to check in with us.

Last night, my husband told me that he was learning a lot and making big life decisions. That I would have to respect his decisions. He said, that he could not come home because it was not safe for him at home. That I have been very selfish and that I would rather have him sick and by my side than to be without him. He said that in the future it might be different, but that for now this is how it would be.

I pray for him. I pray that God would be a constant whisper in his ear. I pray that God heals him and restores him. I pray that God return to my husband the joy of his salvation. I'm just always the scapegoat. I know I'm not perfect, but I have purely and honestly given my best to him. My intentions were always to his benefit. The last thing I ever wanted to do is disappoint my husband or ever let him down. Clearly I have. I pray that God continue to search and examine my heart and reveal to me what is not pleasing to Him (God) and reveal to me where I need to continue change and grow. It is my prayer that I would honor God as His daughter, a woman, as a wife, a mother, so that I may glorify Him. All the while praying that He would have his way with me. 

Does it hurt, you bet. I'm I struggling, yes. There is so much going on, in addition to my husband. I feel the enemy stepping up its attacks on me and my family. But I can say that the Lord has always provided a way. Even, when my natural eyes could not see, I chose to walk in faith. For nothing is impossible for the Lord.

I praise God. For He blesses me beyond measure. Just to be able to open my eyes this morning, to take a deep breath and walk over to my boys' room and see them wake up, is such a huge blessing. I don't ever want to take for granted the Lord's blessings. As I sit here right now, I'm poundering over all the blessings that I have received so far this day. So many. Some that I will never even be aware of. His saving grace and protection evelope me in His unfailing love. If you could see me right now, you would see me smiling. Wow!

Thank you Lord.

Yes, it is good to see the blessings in your life and to trust that God will provide--He will!! 
There is strength in trusting Him and letting Him be your joy!!  

I pray that there would be a Chaplain or some Godly person who would have a talk with your husband at that hospital, even your pastor (if that were possible).   Your husband needs someone respectable to shine the light of truth in his corner, because he is terribly deceived. 

When he calls and shames/blames you, tell him that you aren't taking the shame/blame, that he is responsible for what he's doing.  (This is typical abuser and a spouse having an affair type behavior to shift the blame and pile the shame on you.).   I pray he "wakes up" and becomes the man, husband and father that God wants him to be.  Proverbs 3:5-6 is clear, that God must be allowed to direct his path, because his understandings aren't working!  I would speak the truth and then not allow any more of his shaming/blaming to come through your phoneline and to your heart.  Guard your heart and think on the good things!!...

((hugs))!!
~Renae


 

Faithey - you are an inspiration.  God is an inspiration working through you.  I see you thriving despite being in a difficult marriage & it makes me realize how much better I can do in my own life, marriage.

After I read your post I wanted to give you a word to encourage you, instead I prayed for you because I wasn't sure I had adequate words to give you.  I even told the Lord that.

I went into the living room after closing FL to turn on the morning news.  Instead I saw my daughter's bible sitting on the cedar chest & I realized God had a word for me this morning.  I think, actually I know He wants me to share it with you too...

Isaiah 46:4 Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you.  I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

---

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground...

Thank you Renae. I pray daily and throughout the day that God evelopes my husband in His perfect light. For I know that even darkness and not dark to God. I worry that he is being treated by secular doctors and pray that God would send a grounded Christian to him during his stay at the hospital.

I was speaking to a very good friend of mine last night, and told her that while he was blaming me, I had to smile. I know who is directing these attacks. I have the victory in Christ. Not because of who I am, but because of who He is. : )

God's lovingkindness and grace are covering me. I just want to let everyone know that it is not always easy. Have good days and I have bad days. But the one constant in my life is Christ. That never changes.

 

Thank you BcauseHeLives. Just the fact that you would take time to pray for who is a blessing. Thank you for sharing this verse with me. I have been praying and asking God to speak to me. I doing what I can to sit still and hear his voice.

Last night, I watched a sermon that they were giving last night. The pastor asked that we turn to Galatians. I had the bible on the bed and when I opened it, it opened to Galatians. When he directed us to the chapter and versus to read, I looked down to go there and it was opened to the very chapter in Galatians. And the versus that he was going to read over, were the very versus highlighted in my bible. Needless to say, I sat up and paid attention. Here is the chapter of Galatians I was reading over.

Galatians 5:

Life by the Spirit

 ¹⁶So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. ¹⁷For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. ¹⁸But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.

 ¹⁹The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; ²⁰idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions ²¹and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

 ²²But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. ²⁴Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. ²⁵Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. ²⁶Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

 

Dear Faithey,

You may recall me under the screen name Psalm 63.  That account was disabled with no notification to me as to why?  (Contrary to popular assumption, I have never been banned).

Anyway, I don’t want to repeat links and so forth here, but I did post some links and encouragement on your other threads some time back which I think would be worthwhile re-visiting if you would like to:

I’m completely devastated

I'm drowning in despair. I feel so alone.
  
When I posted those links, I never dreamed that I would shortly need the counsel for how to deal with adultery in my own marriage!  (But God knew...)   I found out in May that my husband had an affair at the end of last year which he had been hiding from me, and I took the advice from those links.

Another thing which still concerns me greatly is your sons.  Faithey do you realize that not telling them the truth about your husband leaves them confused and feeling like its somehow their fault that he doesn’t live at home, and their fault that mommy is so sad?  Every one of my 8 children from ages 24 down to age 6 was informed of my husband’s adultery within 3 days of me finding out.  I told the older ones and he told the younger ones.  When my children of tender years saw mommy cry, or heard angry words between mommy and daddy, they knew it was not their fault.

Love and prayers,
me

FAITHEY:

Thank you BcauseHeLives. Just the fact that you would take time to pray for who is a blessing. Thank you for sharing this verse with me. I have been praying and asking God to speak to me. I doing what I can to sit still and hear his voice.

Last night, I watched a sermon that they were giving last night. The pastor asked that we turn to Galatians. I had the bible on the bed and when I opened it, it opened to Galatians. When he directed us to the chapter and versus to read, I looked down to go there and it was opened to the very chapter in Galatians. And the versus that he was going to read over, were the very versus highlighted in my bible. Needless to say, I sat up and paid attention. Here is the chapter of Galatians I was reading over.

Galatians 5:

Life by the Spirit

 ¹⁶So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. ¹⁷For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. ¹⁸But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.

 ¹⁹The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; ²⁰idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions ²¹and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

 ²²But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. ²⁴Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. ²⁵Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. ²⁶Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

 

Our Father is SO awesome!  I LOVE it when He speaks boldly to us like that!!  I like to think of it as a kiss from the King...or a kiss from our Heavenly Father. :)

Hugs...

---

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground...

Faithey

Praying for you sister...

I know you're hurting and don't want to avoid your pain by simply quoting scripture.

I will share author Dallas Willards perspective on the "All things work together for good..." passage. 

Just because all things work together for good, does not imply that all those things are good things.  Some of them might be down right nasty, and it's not helpful to sugercoat them.  However, just as you wouldn't want to eat the raw eggs or the flour by themselves while mixing up the ingredients to a cake, you can be assured that the final outcome will be worked into a whole that supercedes the sum of its ingredients.  You do want the cake... as a whole. 

I think this framework does justice to our pain, while acknowledging God's redemptive and creative hand.  May your perseverance lead you to wholeness and hope.

1hart:

I’m completely devastated

Oops, I did something wrong with that link.  Does this work?
  I'm completely devastated

Anyway, I have a few minutes so I'll paste the links here:

Dear Faithey..... Love, God

How to Survive Infidelity from marriagebuilders.com

Divorce and Infidelity: Love Must be Tough by James Dobson (part 1 of 7)

You can read some of this book online at the googlebooks link I am posting and I bet your public library would have it or can get it for you:


Women Who Love Too Much

Contents
Acknowledgments
Preface
Introduction
1 Loving the Man Who Doesn't Love Back
2 Good Sex in Bad Relationships
3 If I Suffer for You, Will You Love Me?
4 The Need to Be Needed
5 Shall We Dance?
6 Men Who Choose Women Who Love Too Much
7 Beauty and the Beast
8 When One Addiction Feeds Another
9 Dying for Love
10 The Road to Recovery
11 Recovery and Intimacy: Closing the Gap
Appendixes
How to Start Your Own Support Group
Sources of Help
Suggested Reading
Affirmations
Index

Thank you daftac. The road is long and narrow. But I pray that God would a light onto my feet. Leading me according to his will. There is much to learn, so I pray for wisdom and dicernment.

Hello Psalm. It has been a while. I think of and pray for you often. I have that list you gave me as to whom am I in Christ. I sat down and hand wrote them and the full scripture next to them. I have not finished all. I will go back and start reading them again. It was a tremendous blessing.

I'm so very sorry to hear that adultery entered your marriage. I will be praying for you, your marriage, children and family.

I have spoken to my therapist about telling the boys. At the right moment (which is coming soon) the boys will be told. For now, they know he is hospitalized and receiving treatment.

I asking all of you to please pray for my husband. My spirit has been uneasy. I have felt God telling me that my husband is in danger. His very life at stake.

Last night, our best friends (husband and wife) called. They are mature and grounded Christians. She put her husband on the phone (whom my husband loves dearly and has been avoiding at all costs) called to let me know that for days he has felt the Lord pressing upon him to meet up with my husband. He says he feels his very life is in danger  and that if my husband does not turn and run straight to the Lord, he will lose his life. He says that in the last two years he watched the decline and that he has never been able to meet with him despite numerous attempts. He recalls running him to him at the supermarket and my husband would follow him down every aisle to apologize over and over.

He spoke with him last week and asked to meet with him and my husband said that he needed to sit down with hin to talk. Continues to avoid. My husband knows that our friend will be very matter of fact with regard to God, His Word and how we are to live.

Our friend is going to start calling him to meet with him today. He feels the urgency to do so. Please pray that God will make a way for them to meet. Please pray that God will prepare my husband to receive God's truth.

The fact that our friend called to say that he felt my husband's life was at stake only confirmed what I felt God was telling me. We are engage in a spiritual warfare, as even my husband's family is being deceived to what is going on and placing the whole blame on me.

Please, please pray, if you can throughout the day that not only our friend is able to meet with my husband, but that God removes the OW from his life, and prayers for his family to see the truth. They believe God exists, but it ends there.

From the bottom of my heart, I am thankful and humbled by your prayers.

Done.

---

The artist formerly known as Remington

I am in prayer for your husband.  

I'm soooo glad that this friend is hearing the prompting of the Holy Spirit to minister to your husband!  Praise God!!  And may the Holy Spirit speak through this friend  and bring new life to him!! 

Love to you, Faithey!