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Romance novels found in most stores are quite sexually explicit. They are alot more than some fairytale romance store. I don't read romance novels, but the few I did read in years past where I picked up in regular stores where arrousing. Good grief they went into a bit of detail about things it would be hard not to be. I threw them out. Ever notice the covers of women's magazines like Cosmo in the check out lane at the grocery store? Just glancing you can see half the titles are about sex.
As far as porn the numbers are climbing regarding women and will continue to do so unless something changes. Girls and women today are given the green light to being sexually expressive and open to things never before in the past. Middle school girls are giving bj left and right for various reasons including peer pressure, but a number of girls freely like expressing themselves sexually too. With the message presented to woman now that it's okay to go for it more and more are doing just that very thing. Yesterdays quote bad girl and good girls don't is a thing of the past.
Back to OP questions, shouldn't the church address both traditional porn and explicit novels I would say yes. If, they both create lust or sexaul fantasy seems to me they should both be addressed. Regardlesss men or women.
Even half the TV shows they make now are full of sex or other trash. It's hard to decide what to watch at times and we both like football, but the cheerleaders don't half where clothes anymore. We watch mostly college which is better.
Lust is lust, sin is sin and it isn't any one gender problem.
pooh girl:Back to OP questions, shouldn't the church address both traditional porn and explicit novels I would say yes. If, they both create lust or sexaul fantasy seems to me they should both be addressed. Regardlesss men or women. Even half the TV shows they make now are full of sex or other trash. It's hard to decide what to watch at times and we both like football, but the cheerleaders don't half where clothes anymore. We watch mostly college which is better. Lust is lust, sin is sin and it isn't any one gender problem.
formerlyalpha:Or, if she is already married, but feeling emotionally neglected, she can find herself swooning over the hunks described in the novels.
formerlyalpha:Barb Larrimore, who with her husband co-authored "His Brain, Her Brain", said, " I realised that my need for conversation is as intense as his need for sexual intimacy." That's a pointer to the different pathway a woman takes in her quest for pleasure.
Have you read this book Alpha? I want to purchase it to read.
I was listening to them when they were on FOTF being interviewed by Dr. James Dobson & one thing that really stuck in my mind was what they said about how when married a man will bond strongly emotionally with their wives each time they have sex, while sex before marriage actually causes the bond to be damaged...or something along those lines.
I was impressed w/the amount of knowledge they have on the subject.
chaz345: pooh girl: Back to OP questions, shouldn't the church address both traditional porn and explicit novels I would say yes. If, they both create lust or sexaul fantasy seems to me they should both be addressed. Regardlesss men or women. Even half the TV shows they make now are full of sex or other trash. It's hard to decide what to watch at times and we both like football, but the cheerleaders don't half where clothes anymore. We watch mostly college which is better. Lust is lust, sin is sin and it isn't any one gender problem. I don't think lust is the primary problem caused by romance novels, it's the non-reality fantasy expectations that they can create. Not saying that any lust that they create isn't a problem, I just don't think it's the MAIN problem.
pooh girl: Back to OP questions, shouldn't the church address both traditional porn and explicit novels I would say yes. If, they both create lust or sexaul fantasy seems to me they should both be addressed. Regardlesss men or women. Even half the TV shows they make now are full of sex or other trash. It's hard to decide what to watch at times and we both like football, but the cheerleaders don't half where clothes anymore. We watch mostly college which is better. Lust is lust, sin is sin and it isn't any one gender problem.
In regards to expectations created in these romance ideas or stories often the man a woman becomes married to plays into it himself by romancing her throughout the dating process up until he pops the big question and then they marry. If, a man has no plan on ever living up to what he did while dating and it is nothing more than a game for him to win her over, then that that would be deceitful and trickery.
Likewise there are women who are one way before marriage and totally another after getting married. A intentional bait and switch on their part would be wrong as well.
We don't have any gender bashing sermons at our church either.
We have had some sermons that did touch some on adultery, but it was clearly addressed to husbands and wives.
JaneFW:On another note, I'm back again to wondering about these "churches across the country" where apparently the weekly sermon is about nothing more than bashing men for using porn. Again .. I have never, ever (in over 3 years) attended a sermon by my pastor where he has "bashed" either gender, whether specifically men or women, for ANY sin. My pastor's perspective is .. sin is wrong, and we are *all* given to sin. If your pastor/church is preaching anything other than this, I would suggest that you talk to your pastor about WHY his teaching is so one-sided. If the response is not one you accept, I would seriously consider finding another church. Seriously!
Well it's no surprise since I've shared this before, but I haven't really heard these male (or female) bashing sermons either. Out of the 3 churches I have attended in the last 20 years (that would be 9 different pastors) I don't recall one gender bashing sermon. I live in rural MN though so maybe that's why?
Regardless, I have trust & faith in my Pastor. If I didn't I wouldn't attend church there. I believe he preaches what the HS lays on his heart to preach. My faith has grown tremendously through him, my husband respects him & enjoys learning from him as well.
If you don't feel that your pastor is taking the HS's lead, why are you attending that particular church?
pooh girl: chaz345: pooh girl: Back to OP questions, shouldn't the church address both traditional porn and explicit novels I would say yes. If, they both create lust or sexaul fantasy seems to me they should both be addressed. Regardlesss men or women. Even half the TV shows they make now are full of sex or other trash. It's hard to decide what to watch at times and we both like football, but the cheerleaders don't half where clothes anymore. We watch mostly college which is better. Lust is lust, sin is sin and it isn't any one gender problem. I don't think lust is the primary problem caused by romance novels, it's the non-reality fantasy expectations that they can create. Not saying that any lust that they create isn't a problem, I just don't think it's the MAIN problem. If, you are talking about soley focusing in on the romance aspect found in a novel even a chistian romance novel and comparing that to porn that will not fly in any setting. They are not apples for apples. Romance stories travel back to early childhood in books like Cinderella where the handsome prince charming shows up. Clean romance stories are not a sin. Porn is always wrong. In regards to expectations created in these romance ideas or stories often the man a woman becomes married to plays into it himself by romancing her throughout the dating process up until he pops the big question and then they marry. If, a man has no plan on ever living up to what he did while dating and it is nothing more than a game for him to win her over, then that that would be deceitful and trickery. Likewise there are women who are one way before marriage and totally another after getting married. A intentional bait and switch on their part would be wrong as well.
Are christians not to read fiction at all -- let's face it, there are some that would find something objectionable in almost anything, even the Little House on the Prairie series, I've seen criticized. This is slightly off topic I know, so I appologize.
In my experience with ex viewing porn, he was also corresponding with swinger's club, trying to hook up or whatever you want to call it and also trying to coerce me into same. He also forced me to go into a adult bookstore against my will, and I was embarassed beyond belief (I will not go into detail). So I do feel porn is more harmful than romance novels. As far as could romance novels contain overly explicit and inapprorpiate material, yes. But even if romance novels and porn are equally sinful -- I just can't agree that they are equally harmful.
GloryOne:Are christians not to read fiction at all -- let's face it, there are some that would find something objectionable in almost anything, even the Little House on the Prairie series, I've seen criticized. This is slightly off topic I know, so I appologize. In my experience with ex viewing porn, he was also corresponding with swinger's club, trying to hook up or whatever you want to call it and also trying to coerce me into same. He also forced me to go into a adult bookstore against my will, and I was embarassed beyond belief (I will not go into detail). So I do feel porn is more harmful than romance novels. As far as could romance novels contain overly explicit and inapprorpiate material, yes. But even if romance novels and porn are equally sinful -- I just can't agree that they are equally harmful.
I don't mean to be argumentative, but my ex's expectation was that I would reinact sexual scenes from porn with other people -- my expectation (if any) from romance novels, would have been a loving and romantic relationship. I really can't see the comparison.
I do realize that my experience is not everyone's.
GloryOne: I don't mean to be argumentative, but my ex's expectation was that I would reinact sexual scenes from porn with other people -- my expectation (if any) from romance novels, would have been a loving and romantic relationship. I really can't see the comparison.
The impact of porn verses romance novels are not apples for apples, they are not on the same level.
Can romance novels create fantasy romanctic expectations I would say they could and could they impact a marriage negatively if taken to the exteme, yes. Porn is sinful from the get go and built upon pure lust. It destroys immediately what God intended by implanting images of other naked people you are not married to and defiles the marriage bed.
I'm pretty sure most "christian" men would prefer there wife read romance novels over viewing porn and then comparing their husbands to the size and build of the men in porn.
