FamilyLife Forums

I`m sorry you are going through what you are going through Gabby...thats a shame that people mistreat those especially in the body of Christ.   I have too often wondered how many of us in our congregation are going through so much stuff in their lives.   Atleast I know I`m not the only one, and I`m in good company.   It`s easy to put on a "face" that shows that everything is alright, when really it`s not.  Some people would just rather not expose their hurts, issues, etc..  It can be uncomfortable.

I hope you will be able to find a better home church that suits you. 

---

smile... its summer!

Gabby,

Don't give up on church or church people. Remember they are human and flawed too. Some will say some things that aren't right or pretty harsh, but there are lot's of warm wonderful people too. I remember two people who I still go to church with that told me I wasn't having a child because I must have some sin in my life. So, I have and never will be a mother because of some sin according to them. ??? A sin greater than all others I guess. In spite of what they have said to me I also know these two different people to be very caring and kind to others. I don't believe they meant me any harm personally. They are both elderly people.

---

I Love My Husband!
Go Gators!!!

Gabby50:

Do you ever go to church and see all of the happy looking people there - and stop to wonder how many of them are really broken and hurting?

Some of you know that I had an accident last month. I broke both of my arms (this is not a pity story - I'm making a point). I do not have a cast on my elbow - they don't cast adult elbows. I'm just not allowed to use that arm much. I have a splint on my wrist, but I can take the thing off if I'm not using my broken hand. Anyway, I don't look broken if I'm not wearing my wrist thing. I look whole and pain free. But I'm not. You have to look closely to see how damaged I am, to see that I struggle with even small things. You have to take the time and effort to see what is really going on - that I'm far from being whole, and that yes, I need help with things - even opening a church door is difficult. But you don't know that from my appearance.

How many people in church are really broken? Broken marriages, broken relatinships with Christ -?How many people do we casually greet on Sunday mornings, but not take the time to get to know them, to find out where they're really hurting, how we can help them more effectively?. I know that many churches have community groups - but is that enough? You get to know the people in your group, and people who aren't in your group, or even in a group at all - you miss helping them in their brokenness.

I'm speaking to myself here - and to others. I know people in my own church that assume that if someone is in church every Sunday, then they're okay. That they're okay physically, spiritually, in their marriages. But it's so easy to put on the "church face", look healthy and unbroken during church. And then - go home to cry from the broken marriage or broken arms. The people that support us in our weekly church attendance might do better to spend time looking for ways to support people in the "stuff" of daily life - the brokenness that we all encounter.

Hi Gabby, (....and Ya’ll)

I have not been able to be on here much for awhile, nor been able to read everything in here.

But 1st off.... I'm sorry you experience that Sis.... and we all are brothers and sisters In Christ.  --    So this is one Sis, sending you a big hug & love!!! :)

...God loves you girlfriend and I'm sure you know that...... but I'm glad someone brought this up; I too can relate to a lot of this.  ...And through that, God has used that to reach out to others.

You have a kind heart and I think God has given you a gift of mercy.  ***There are not enough people in the church 'body', let alone life.... that take time out of their business, to touch others! Just a moment is all it takes in most situations. ... And IMO I think that is a dirty rotten shame! 

                                         You can't ever out bless God.

How many... actually do take a risk; trusting someone (and that can be really hard for some), and reach out... only to get snubbed, ignored or criticized?!?!   What a sad state many of us and the BODY have gotten into.  

Even in the busiest time, with the best of intentions.... even the nicest people will fail at this (self included).  But the thing I wonder is.... Are we (no one specific) .. Have Christ's children become that de-sensitized, cold and hard-hearted??  I believe that the body in general has! (I’m not placing this on anyone specific) 

Some might say; "Oh... your being overly sensitive or emotional" ...... I don't care. God designed us to have relationship with one another. Jesus had all emotions.  I think the people who get all geeky about it, and start criticizing, are the ones who run from their emotions, self and I will venture to say... many (not all) even from God.  (It may be in only 1 or 2 areas of their life, or their entire life.... but sadly, it happens)

                                           Thank you for bringing this to light. 

We are called to be more like Jesus, and IMO we should be the loving arms, listening ears and even a shoulder to cry on if people need it.

**I can almost hear some of the comments, if anyone even ventures to comment, on this.... like: O, people just need to toughen up; or what a mess this world would be if we all wore our heart on our sleeves.... etc....

Well, I for 1 am standing up and making a point/statement that showing brokenness or hurts don’t make people weak!  It makes the courageous, humble and willing to risk it all to be real!!! 

Too many Christians laugh at, avoid or are just so uncomfortable with people like that... and they ends up affecting many others in negative ways, by their actions or behaviors.  

*** It's like sowing/reaping..... it can be good or bad....  What do we choose to do???

Q: What will we answer; standing before God some day, when he asks us why we were hardhearted to someone, or didn't take a moment to show Christ's love, what did you do with the 'GIFT' I gave you???  ...I'm not talking about spiritual gift, but gift -- as in a person: such as a stranger, spouse, friend, brother, sister, homeless person, someone with a unique personality/maybe quirky, etc.... "what did you do, how did you treat My precious Child, the gift I put in your life for a season, no matter how long that season was to be???" 

Isn't that what it's ALL about..... Christ's love and living according to the bible/Living, God breathed Word?!   Doesn't the bible say that we entertain angels unaware? (or something along that line)

Q: Why do people take others for granted, or avoid.

Q: Why are there some that refuse to respond to people??? Could it be that some, who say they are the Body, and Christians.... are not just avoiding themselves, God or have issues they buried, that may have turned into bitterness, unforgiveness or maybe they are just so full of pride, that they 'think they have all the answers' and argue others points to the point of tearing them down, while being so purposed to prove their point.... that no one is listening.... or open to being teachable.   I'm pretty sure there is a scripture that says we are to remain teachable. 

Q: who is to say that if God spoke through a donkey, why God wouldn't give someone wisdom, revelation, insight.... or something of value.... to bless you back with??

**AGAIN... like I said, this is not targeted at anyone! I'm just glad, even though I was in school/job hunting and barely able to get my email.... and way behind on things... that this got brought up!! :)

Q: Are we, as Christians.... practicing Christ's love, the best we can, in our everyday lives??? Whether that be family, marriage, neighbor or totally stranger.... let alone a fellow Child of the King and sibling in Christ???

One other note: I was sad to 'see' a lot of the 'same' arguing and tearing down going on within this forum. (I am not perfect, and have a lot to learn.... ) but how sad that there is not more people taking things back to the WORD of God, and how we are taught to live and love... instead of bickering, criticizing, etc....

*** I encourage others to take a step back, look at ourselves and our behavior toward others.  Are we building up others in (and outside of) the BODY, showing Christ’s love, and truly appreciating what Christ did for us, and passing that love and compassion along??? Or…. Are we just putting our opinions out there, and doing it in ways that disrespect, and even trample on others. 

*** I see in life and online, that there are more and more offenses happening every day.  I used to think that being offended always meant that I was being overly sensitive.  ….but I had the taught to me, and pushed on me by people who ended up being more broken than I was… they just stuffed it inside and denied themselves love and compassion (giving and/or receiving)….. and lived outside of the WORD… while denying their negative actions and behaviors toward others, and even themselves… as Okay, Acceptable and even Godly…. When, that is the farthest thing from the TRUTH of the Bible and what God intended.

I guess all I’d like to see, is that if people claim to be Christians, then we start acting like we should…. not legalistic; that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about just practicing simple compassion, love and tenderness….. Especially toward people who are hurting.  It shouldn’t matter why they are hurting, aren’t we love them like Jesus loved/s us???? 

Maybe someone is just lonely or has no family, maybe they have been hurt deeply by another…. What is so difficult about smiling, saying hi, responding to an email, sending a card or having coffee with someone… WHAT STOPS US FROM DOING SIMPLE ACTS OF KINDNESS, LOVE and COMPASSION???

This may sound silly or stupid to some, and I don’t know if you’ve even cared enough to read this far…

…If I could have one HOPE for today (my birthday) … it would be; that we look at ourselves in the mirror and Thank God for what He gave us in Jesus, and forgave and loved us; without: judgment or criticism ….. just the way we were: Sins, hurt, messed up lives and all….  Have we come so far as the body that we forget/forgot that someone was there at some point, at our worst moment, to love us like Jesus, when no one else did!?!?!

Why do we sometimes ‘CHOOSE’; and it is a CHOICE…. to reject others???  (…rejection is the worst form of abuse).  Can’t we all take 1 step closer to God, out of love, respect and gratitude to our Heavenly Father???  ...and make this world a little better, and brighter… instead of being a tool for the enemy to use as adding one more scar, hurt or stab in someone??? Can we all just do our part in our little corner of life… helping Jesus bring; love and life to others -- not pain??  You just may be that person’s last hope… will we choose to give them hope???  

SELAH…. (pause and think about it)

God Bless You ALL!

 

 

 

JoyFULYoursJesus:

Gabby50:

Do you ever go to church and see all of the happy looking people there - and stop to wonder how many of them are really broken and hurting?

Some of you know that I had an accident last month. I broke both of my arms (this is not a pity story - I'm making a point). I do not have a cast on my elbow - they don't cast adult elbows. I'm just not allowed to use that arm much. I have a splint on my wrist, but I can take the thing off if I'm not using my broken hand. Anyway, I don't look broken if I'm not wearing my wrist thing. I look whole and pain free. But I'm not. You have to look closely to see how damaged I am, to see that I struggle with even small things. You have to take the time and effort to see what is really going on - that I'm far from being whole, and that yes, I need help with things - even opening a church door is difficult. But you don't know that from my appearance.

How many people in church are really broken? Broken marriages, broken relatinships with Christ -?How many people do we casually greet on Sunday mornings, but not take the time to get to know them, to find out where they're really hurting, how we can help them more effectively?. I know that many churches have community groups - but is that enough? You get to know the people in your group, and people who aren't in your group, or even in a group at all - you miss helping them in their brokenness.

I'm speaking to myself here - and to others. I know people in my own church that assume that if someone is in church every Sunday, then they're okay. That they're okay physically, spiritually, in their marriages. But it's so easy to put on the "church face", look healthy and unbroken during church. And then - go home to cry from the broken marriage or broken arms. The people that support us in our weekly church attendance might do better to spend time looking for ways to support people in the "stuff" of daily life - the brokenness that we all encounter.

Hi Gabby, (....and Ya’ll)

I have not been able to be on here much for awhile, nor been able to read everything in here.

But 1st off.... I'm sorry you experience that Sis.... and we all are brothers and sisters In Christ.  --    So this is one Sis, sending you a big hug & love!!! :)

...God loves you girlfriend and I'm sure you know that...... but I'm glad someone brought this up; I too can relate to a lot of this.  ...And through that, God has used that to reach out to others.

You have a kind heart and I think God has given you a gift of mercy.  ***There are not enough people in the church 'body', let alone life.... that take time out of their business, to touch others! Just a moment is all it takes in most situations. ... And IMO I think that is a dirty rotten shame! 

                                         You can't ever out bless God.

How many... actually do take a risk; trusting someone (and that can be really hard for some), and reach out... only to get snubbed, ignored or criticized?!?!   What a sad state many of us and the BODY have gotten into.  

Even in the busiest time, with the best of intentions.... even the nicest people will fail at this (self included).  But the thing I wonder is.... Are we (no one specific) .. Have Christ's children become that de-sensitized, cold and hard-hearted??  I believe that the body in general has! (I’m not placing this on anyone specific) 

Some might say; "Oh... your being overly sensitive or emotional" ...... I don't care. God designed us to have relationship with one another. Jesus had all emotions.  I think the people who get all geeky about it, and start criticizing, are the ones who run from their emotions, self and I will venture to say... many (not all) even from God.  (It may be in only 1 or 2 areas of their life, or their entire life.... but sadly, it happens)

                                           Thank you for bringing this to light. 

We are called to be more like Jesus, and IMO we should be the loving arms, listening ears and even a shoulder to cry on if people need it.

**I can almost hear some of the comments, if anyone even ventures to comment, on this.... like: O, people just need to toughen up; or what a mess this world would be if we all wore our heart on our sleeves.... etc....

Well, I for 1 am standing up and making a point/statement that showing brokenness or hurts don’t make people weak!  It makes the courageous, humble and willing to risk it all to be real!!! 

Too many Christians laugh at, avoid or are just so uncomfortable with people like that... and they ends up affecting many others in negative ways, by their actions or behaviors.  

*** It's like sowing/reaping..... it can be good or bad....  What do we choose to do???

Q: What will we answer; standing before God some day, when he asks us why we were hardhearted to someone, or didn't take a moment to show Christ's love, what did you do with the 'GIFT' I gave you???  ...I'm not talking about spiritual gift, but gift -- as in a person: such as a stranger, spouse, friend, brother, sister, homeless person, someone with a unique personality/maybe quirky, etc.... "what did you do, how did you treat My precious Child, the gift I put in your life for a season, no matter how long that season was to be???" 

Isn't that what it's ALL about..... Christ's love and living according to the bible/Living, God breathed Word?!   Doesn't the bible say that we entertain angels unaware? (or something along that line)

Q: Why do people take others for granted, or avoid.

Q: Why are there some that refuse to respond to people??? Could it be that some, who say they are the Body, and Christians.... are not just avoiding themselves, God or have issues they buried, that may have turned into bitterness, unforgiveness or maybe they are just so full of pride, that they 'think they have all the answers' and argue others points to the point of tearing them down, while being so purposed to prove their point.... that no one is listening.... or open to being teachable.   I'm pretty sure there is a scripture that says we are to remain teachable. 

Q: who is to say that if God spoke through a donkey, why God wouldn't give someone wisdom, revelation, insight.... or something of value.... to bless you back with??

**AGAIN... like I said, this is not targeted at anyone! I'm just glad, even though I was in school/job hunting and barely able to get my email.... and way behind on things... that this got brought up!! :)

Q: Are we, as Christians.... practicing Christ's love, the best we can, in our everyday lives??? Whether that be family, marriage, neighbor or totally stranger.... let alone a fellow Child of the King and sibling in Christ???

One other note: I was sad to 'see' a lot of the 'same' arguing and tearing down going on within this forum. (I am not perfect, and have a lot to learn.... ) but how sad that there is not more people taking things back to the WORD of God, and how we are taught to live and love... instead of bickering, criticizing, etc....

*** I encourage others to take a step back, look at ourselves and our behavior toward others.  Are we building up others in (and outside of) the BODY, showing Christ’s love, and truly appreciating what Christ did for us, and passing that love and compassion along??? Or…. Are we just putting our opinions out there, and doing it in ways that disrespect, and even trample on others. 

*** I see in life and online, that there are more and more offenses happening every day.  I used to think that being offended always meant that I was being overly sensitive.  ….but I had the taught to me, and pushed on me by people who ended up being more broken than I was… they just stuffed it inside and denied themselves love and compassion (giving and/or receiving)….. and lived outside of the WORD… while denying their negative actions and behaviors toward others, and even themselves… as Okay, Acceptable and even Godly…. When, that is the farthest thing from the TRUTH of the Bible and what God intended.

I guess all I’d like to see, is that if people claim to be Christians, then we start acting like we should…. not legalistic; that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about just practicing simple compassion, love and tenderness….. Especially toward people who are hurting.  It shouldn’t matter why they are hurting, aren’t we love them like Jesus loved/s us???? 

Maybe someone is just lonely or has no family, maybe they have been hurt deeply by another…. What is so difficult about smiling, saying hi, responding to an email, sending a card or having coffee with someone… WHAT STOPS US FROM DOING SIMPLE ACTS OF KINDNESS, LOVE and COMPASSION???

This may sound silly or stupid to some, and I don’t know if you’ve even cared enough to read this far…

…If I could have one HOPE for today (my birthday) … it would be; that we look at ourselves in the mirror and Thank God for what He gave us in Jesus, and forgave and loved us; without: judgment or criticism ….. just the way we were: Sins, hurt, messed up lives and all….  Have we come so far as the body that we forget/forgot that someone was there at some point, at our worst moment, to love us like Jesus, when no one else did!?!?!

Why do we sometimes ‘CHOOSE’; and it is a CHOICE…. to reject others???  (…rejection is the worst form of abuse).  Can’t we all take 1 step closer to God, out of love, respect and gratitude to our Heavenly Father???  ...and make this world a little better, and brighter… instead of being a tool for the enemy to use as adding one more scar, hurt or stab in someone??? Can we all just do our part in our little corner of life… helping Jesus bring; love and life to others -- not pain??  You just may be that person’s last hope… will we choose to give them hope???  

SELAH…. (pause and think about it)

God Bless You ALL!

 

 

 

  DEAR JOYFULLYJESUS,

                                                         WOW I MEEN THIS IS GOOD STUFF.    i cant beleve how mucch this helped  me to reed this
                                                

Hi Leeza10

Thank the good Lord.... 

It's not alway comfortable, or popular to speak up -- but I always said to God... "if I can help just 1 person -- hurt a little less, by what I went through/learned from it, then it was worth it the pain.....

I think some times HE puts a Bold Passion (maybe even, at times -- a bold tenasiousness) in us to speak up/speak out for other sake.  I personally see a lot of that -- coming from my spirit, the Holy Spirit speaking through us.  That might sound strange, but I am not that bold in the natural.

Have you ever heard the song: God Speaking, by: Mandisa???

If not -- check it out.

Mandisa - God Speaking

(listen on line-link)  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZI2gOBvBHk 

LYRICS

Have you ever heard a love song, that set your spirit free?
Have you ever watched a sunrise and felt you could not breathe?
What if it’s Him. What if it’s God speaking?

Have you ever cried a tear that you could not explain?
Have you ever met a stranger who already knew your name?
What if it’s Him. What if it’s God speaking?

Who knows how He’ll get a hold of us?
Get our attention to prove He is enough.
He’ll do, and He’ll use whatever He wants to.
To tell us, I Love You.

Have you ever lost a loved one
Who you thought should still be here?
Do you know what it feels like
to be tangled up in fear?
What if He’s somehow involved?
What if He’s speaking through it all?

Who knows how He’ll get a hold of us?
Get our attention to prove he is enough.
He’ll do and He’ll use whatever He wants to
To tell us, I love you.

His ways are higher
His ways are better
Though sometimes strange
What could be stranger than God in a manger?

Who knows how He’ll get a hold of us?
Get our attention to prove He is enough.
Who knows how He’ll get a hold of you?
Get your attention to prove he is enough.
He’ll do and He’ll use whatever He wants to,
To tell us I love you
God is speaking, I love you

God Speaking Lyrics – MANDISA Song Words

Song Words by Artist / Band : MANDISA
Song Lyrics Title : God Speaking
Taken from Music Album : True Beauty
Single Released : 22 October 2007
Music Genre : R&B, Gospel Music

(Music Song Data Information taken from : wikipedia)

 

We are all just HUMBLE vessels for HIS glory, and for HIM to reach others..... ultimately; to ETERNITY!   :)   It's ALL about HIM and ulitmately.... Eternity!

I'm glad you were blessed!
Joyful  :)

chaz345:

Reminds me of a song by Casting Crowns. 
There's sort of two sides to the whole thing though. Some people put on their happy face to avoid admitting they need help and others do it so that they won't be a burden to others. Both are equally bad in terms of limiting the effectiveness of the body  though.



Stained Glass Masqurade

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Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin’ so small

Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they’ll soon discover
That I don’t belong

So I tuck it all away, like everything’s okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I’ll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them

*Chorus*
Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation’s open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone who’s been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who’s traded
In the altar for a stage

The performance is CONVINCING
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart

But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be

Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay

Chorus x2

Well if the invitation’s open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin’ so small

AMEN!!  I totally thought the same thing! 

*** I think God gave Casting Crowns specific messages to the BODY in today's world. 

They say -- a picture is worth a thousand words... 

                                             3 Specific Music Video's - by: Casting Crown:

Casting Crowns - Stained Glass Masquerade

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrIKFLJP8Jc 

lyrics above --- thanks Chaz!  Blessings, Joyful  :)

 

Casting Crowns - Does Anybody Hear Her Music Video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhOJW4Uwy3c&NR=1&feature=fvwp

She is running
A hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction
She is trying
But the canyon’s ever widening
In the depths of her cold heart
So she sets out on another misadventure just to find
She’s another two years older
And she’s three more steps behind

Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even knows she’s going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that’s tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?

She is yearning
For shelter and affection
That she never found at home
She is searching
For a hero to ride in
To ride in and save the day
And in walks her prince charming
And he knows just what to say
Momentary lapse of reason
And she gives herself away

If judgement looms under every steeple
If lofty glances from lofty people
Can’t see past her scarlet letter
And we never even met her

 

Casting Crowns - If We Are The Body 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SExJ9od-0zQ

It's crowded in worship today
As she slips in trying to fade into the faces
The girls teasing laughter is
carrying farther than they know
Farther than they know

Chorus:
But if we are the body
Why aren't His arms reaching?
Why aren't His hands healing?
Why aren't His words teaching?
And if we are the body
Why aren't His feet going?
Why is His love not showing them there is a way?
There is a way

A traveler is far away from home
He sheds his coat and quietly sinks into the back row
The weight of their judgmental glances
Tells him that his chances are better out on the road

Chorus

Jesus paid much too high a price
For us to pick and choose who should come
And we are the body of Christ

Chorus

Jesus is the way