My mother attempted suicide again tonight. She feels I gave my father too much attention being his caregiver and not enough to her. Sitting there only brought back a flood of memories, still quite raw, of losing my dad.
I don't have it in me to do this again. I am emotionally exhausted. She did this when dad was going through chemo and again the day of his funeral. I feel bad detaching myself but I don't have any more to give. To top it off, my son is the one that found her there in her apartment. And its all my fault, apparently.
I'm so done with all of this.
Diane

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Diane
Caregiver of Thomas (my Dad,82)
Pleural epithelial meso
dx 11/10
Our battle ended March 16, 2012. Together.

Diane,
so sorry to hear what YOU are going through. First, this is NOT your fault!!. Your Dad was fortunate to have you. Period!!. Time for you to heal, and get on with your life. I hope your son is not blaming you for what happened to your Mom. Maybe time for some counseling to get through this.

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Rich (patient) and Lora Mosca
Peritoneal Survivor dx'd 12/06

I am so sorry Diane. What a terrible situation for you, especially so soon after your loss. NONE OF IT IS YOUR FAULT!
I think Rich is right, it's time for professional counselors to be brought in. Suicide is not something to deal with without professional help. You must take care of yourself.

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Janet, Mom/caregiver of peritoneal survivor dx 12/05

Diane, call me if you'd like. I can certainly lend some support but the others are right. Your mom needs to be under the supervision of a doctor and you should seek quidance from this person as to what your interaction with your mother should be. Can't imagine the horrible stress that you are currently experiencing. DO NOT take any responsiblity for your mother's actions. I hope she can become whole and healthy and that you can have a loving relationship in the future. Mary

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Mary Hesdorffer, NP
Medical Liaison, Mesothelioma Foundation

Diane-I'm so sorry you're having this to go thru as well as the loss of your dad.  You are NOT responsible for her behavior. Hopefully, she will get some help for herself, but in the meantime, it's crucial that you take care of you.  Don't give up-thre are people who can help, and who care.  Have you found someone to help you go thru the grieving?  obviously, I don't know anything @ you, but even if you don't have insurance, most mental health centers do sliding fee scale.    I think I sent you my ph # a few days ago, but if not, Mary has it. I'm 4 hrs behind you-noon here is 4 pm there.  Please call if you want to talk. 
rose 

Diane,

So sorry to hear this but YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS.   A person's suicide/attempted suicide is never another person's "fault".     As the others have said, you need to take care of you! 

Praying for you,

George Landes
George Landes -   Perito Meso (DX November 2009 / HIPEC Surgery May 2010 / NED Feb 2012)

Diane
Both of you have just been through the worst time in your lives. Do not let your mom put this on you. She needs a therapist and so might your son. You can't fix her problem only she can. I wish you better days ahead.

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HUGS
bonnie
Peritoneal survivor 10 YEARS