Hi everyone.
There have been several losses over the last month or so, not to mention all of the losses over the years. I've been having trouble finding a bereavement group, and I think maybe it would be helpful to some of us if this part of the site were more active at this time.
I have been having a horrible time trying to adjust to life without my father. There is a huge void that used to be filled by him, and I feel so empty. I also have so many mixed feelings about his care, what I experienced during his dying process, and what to do with my life, after spending a year and a half giving him my full care and attention. Also about Hospice, I have mixed feelings about that. So many things to work through, and in my area, there either are no bereavment groups, or they are "in the middle" of one, and can't help me for 3 more months.
I'm also finding people avoid the subject of my Dad dying. To me it feels like it just happened yesterday. It's been 3 weeks. Anyway,here I am. If anyone wants to post, I'm here.
Diane

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Diane
Caregiver of Thomas (my Dad,82)
Pleural epithelial meso
dx 11/10
Our battle ended March 16, 2012. Together.

Diane,
My condolences for your grief in having to having to live life without your dad! It's obvious you loved him and he meant a great deal to you.

Since Sue and others have 'lost a dad' or a mom to meso, you folks will be a good support to one another. I believe Mary had started a group for those berieved who's parent died. Check w/her.
Hugzz.
Lois

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Lois, Poolboy's mermaid
Marty was stage 3/4 - pleural meso 3/9/07
fought valiantly 27 months
gone to Heaven June 16, 2009

Hi Lois, Thank you for your condolences about my Dad.
I did talk to Mary, she was having trouble getting a group going, but with the losses in the community lately, I threw it out there in case someone needs to talk., if not in the group then maybe here.
I've made many calls about groups in my area, and there are very few, and the one that is here, is in mid session and won't take any one else.
I'll keep trying. Take care.
Diane

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Diane
Caregiver of Thomas (my Dad,82)
Pleural epithelial meso
dx 11/10
Our battle ended March 16, 2012. Together.

Diane
You are right, it is hard to live when the person you cared for and loved so much isn't there. I never knew bereavement groups close their doors for "sessions". In the meantime if you can't find anyone here you may want to ask your primary dr for the name of a good therapist. Sometimes it's just so you can finally unload some of the guilt and pain that is caused by a death. It will take a while to get your new normal back, just know you did your best and no one can ask more of a person.
A big HUG to you.

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HUGS
bonnie
Peritoneal survivor 10 YEARS

Hi Diane. I too am so sorry for your loss. I think the most important thing to remember is that whatever you're feeling is normal-the roller coaster will probably go on for a long time. How you grieve is less important than letting yourself grieve-don't stuff the feelings. Journaling may help,but I agree w/you that having others who have gone thru or are going thru the loss is important. My husband was diagnosed peritoneal meso 7/19.11. We live in Juneau AK, and there is no support either. I'm lucky I have a great support system and Dennis had a good response to chemo, and is stable enough that I can still work. But we don't know what to expect as this progresses-we are in hospice, and he does not want further chemo (had terrible time). I can't particpated in the caregivers group due to the 4 hr time difference-I'm still at work at 3 pm eastern.

If I can be a support for you, let me know. I lost my Mom to throat cancer 3 yrs ago, and it still reaches out and grabs me at times. Still dream about her being alive, hear her voice--all normal. Another big thing you need to do is care for yourself-you've put everything on hold for 1 1/2 yrs and this is when you need to be gentle on yourself. Rose

Hi Rose,
Thanks for your post. My dad was on Hospice too, but he had the pleural epithial type of meso. Dad didn't want any more chemo either after the first 6 treatments. He felt horrible and didn't want to do it again. And I supported his decision completely. Hospice did a great job controlling his pain, I don't remember 1 day of him telling me he was having a hard time with pain.
It's been 5 weeks since his death. I miss him more than I can express. He wasn't just my Dad he was my best friend, fishing partner, and gambling partner:). Now its all gone.
I feel really bad, there was a call in group the other night for children who lost a parent to meso, and I couldn't call in, it was my first night at a new job. I quit my old job of 13 years after Dad passed, cause I felt like I had to start my whole life over again. I hope there will be another call in.
Like you said about your Mom, I dream of Dad all the time, I even find myself preparing extra at meal times thinking I need to bring him dinners.
Its been lonely for me, there is no one else in the family that was close to Dad., I'm the only one in pain, and the others just ignore the situation. I can't image how hard it must be, having lost your mom not long ago and now caring for your husband.
I wish you and your husband all the best in your fight. There are terrific people here all ready to offer suggestions to help you along and I'll help you too with what I can. Maybe we could compare Hospice experiences if it helps.
Sincerely, Diane

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Diane
Caregiver of Thomas (my Dad,82)
Pleural epithelial meso
dx 11/10
Our battle ended March 16, 2012. Together.

Hi again. Thanks for replying so quickly. I would be delighted to actually be able to talk to someone who's gone thru this--had been looking a long time before I found this site and then couldn't figure out how to join-just figured that out 2 wks ago-technology is not my thing. If you would like to talk, my cell ph is: 907-723-0334. We're 3 hrs behind IL.

Have you been able to find a group, or connect w/Mary's?

An odd question-why the odd user names? thanks Rose