When I ret'd from Reno, she was doing pretty good and such a delight.

Last week she'd stopped eating her food .... I would boil chicken, pick out the bones and skin, put the meat aside. In the broth I would cook some "Normandy Vegetables" a bag of assorted from Costco - broccoli, caulif, carrots, and other stuff --- then I'd pull the vegs out and set aside. Cook rice in the broth and 'Walla' there was food to feed to Angel, bagging some up to put in freeer in quantities for 2 or 3 days a "thaw".... Well, she got to the point that her dinner did not appeal to her and so went 3 or 4 days w/o eating --- even tried to coax her to eat just pieces of chicken.

She didn't even want to eat her treats anymore ... which were a daily ritual... I would say a prayer of thankfulness for having her in the a.m. and that she seemed to be feeling ok.... and then when I said "Amen" she would get her "amen treat' .... the one that was like bacon .... and bacon flavored. Started that after Marty died, since Marty died and no longer cooking a 'normal breakfast."

She used to have tidbits of Marty's breakfast each a.m. and we'd ask a blessing on his bkfast and then when said Amen (aloud), I would put Angel's little dish of some of Marty's egg, bacon and bread/milk gravy down for Angel....

Well, after Marty died, I changed her "Amen" to the puppy jerky. Then, another FAV treat of hers was the Chicken tender strips (lately warnings abt them to do with those coming out of China) ... anyhow, those were Angel's "chewies" and when I would leave for Tues nite bible study or Sun a.m. church or just 'gonna go off w/o her' cuz too hot for her be in car, I'd say, "Mama going bye, bye.... Angel want a chewie?" She'd take it and run toward her doggie door.

Last week when I offered her the chewie and staying home, she would go between me and the door to the garage, bypassing the "chewie"... wanting to go with me in the car... So, oftimes I'd just take her with me and cancel out one of the places I'd might intended to go.

I have such wonderful friends and family.... Angel was welcome just abt every place I went, so she and I traveled together much of the time.

Evenings, settling down on sofa to watch TV, I'd offer her both treats and she'd just smell and turn her head.

Anyhow, Angel had gone 3 or 4 days w/o eating. Sunday evening I went to a viewing of the wife of Marty's boss (Marty had worked for him for 25 years before retiring, and they loved Marty and treated him as family... esp when his STUPID (for which I am grateful) first wife left him and kids and Marty was devastated.... at times on jobsite Marty would break down and cry and Shorty (his boss) would tell him, "It's OK Marty...." Anyhow, he spoke at Marty's memorial service. They had 9 kids ... all of whom at one time or another went to work with Marty on his truck as they all had to learn to do some electrical work, and Shorty knew how patient and kind a person Marty was. And the kids always loved going with Marty bcz on his truck, every tool had a place and Marty could tell them exactly where to get the tool needed, and they learned to put them back also.... All the kids loved Marty. They were also so good to me. All were at wedding when Marty and I married. I hadn't seen some of the kids for sev years, and all of them except for one are married with children... one a confirmed bachelor ... Anyhow, the family is LDS (mormon church of Salt Lake City) .... Shorty has 39 grandkids now.... The grandkids didn't know Marty or me but all of Shorty's kids recognized me at the viewing. I also went to the funeral service Monday ... and I shed a lot of tears for the family bcz I know how hard it is to lose a very dear and wonderful soul mate, and I know there will be a dreadful emptiness for their children and grandchildren bcz they truly were a very close family totally encapsulated with LOVE AND CONTINUALLY CELEBRATING LIFE TOGETHER ! My heart just ached for the family.

Oftentimes when I'd gone somewhere w/o Angel (on days when NOT cool enough to leave her in car, - i used to take her MANY PLACES, she even was in parking lot of church while I went to Grief support for an hour.... I took her to Lowe's or Home Depot, Home Goods Store, Bed Bath and Beyond and would place a pillow in cart and put her on it and wheel her around.... SHE'D BEEN TO HOME DEPOT ALL HER LIFE, AND LOWE'S too...!

Anyhow, getting hotter, and not good to leave her in car heat these days.... so would leave her home. I would fear that one day I might return home from a trip and find her dead.

I'd awaken in nite and feel her body beside mine or close by on the bed, and touch her tummy to see if she still breathing. Anyhow, after the funeral Monday I came home and called her Vet's ofc to see if could see the doc that day (Monday). A couple hours later we were with vet. I asked how long animals can go without eating... Marty went w/o eating 13 days... Vet's response was "A LONG TIME!" Anyhow, after knowing that Kidney failure does not cause a 'painful death' but that animals can feel kinda lousey like if humans have the flu, and sensing that Angel "didn't feel good' and the vet being of the same opinion, I left Angel, I decided to have Angel put down. The Vet gave me the choice of holding her or she and the tech would do it after I left. I absolutely could not bear to see Angel dead, so the vet left me alone with her and I hugged her and kissed her and cried and told her if there is a doggie heaven that surely she will go there! And so I got several of Angel's pillows out of my car and asked them to lay her on one of them so she could smell her own smell and maybe feel more 'at ease' ... and I went to the counter, paid my bill and drove home. She was so special, and Marty loved her prob as much as I did... He used to say when he died he was going to take her with him! It's a relief not to worry about finding her dead, and having died alone, and being afraid she'd die in my arms like Marty did ... and it would be so VERY HEARTBREAKING again, cuz the "three of uss' were the most 'family' we'd been with any other cocker I'd had during my life with Marty. He was so attached to her and as a pup she'd sleep between our pillows.... She's the only dog he allowed to 'come between us' as she would sometimes during the nite crawl into a space between us...

I'm not going to look for another dog .... I do miss coming to a home where there is 'somebody' (even if a dog) who is glad to see me come home.... It is a relief not to have to worry about how her life will end, either alone or with my heart aching and breaking and shedding so many tears... Love U guys... Tks for listening to my chatter.... ! Lois

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Lois, Poolboy's mermaid
Marty was stage 3/4 - pleural meso 3/9/07
fought valiantly 27 months
gone to Heaven June 16, 2009

Lois.....So sorry about Angel... I know how close you were to her and how much she was a part of your life, both with Marty and after Marty was gone. She was a true companion and will be missed for all the companionship that she fulfilled. Love ya!!! Warmest hugs to you girl friend!!!

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Irene
widow of Hermann
dx 07/07
sarcomatoid pleural meso
dod 03/08

Lois, I'm very sorry about Angel. Animals are such an important part of the family., and their loss is huge.
After my Rusty died, (german shepherd,13yrs. old)
I swore I would never get another dog again. Low and behold, 7 months later, Daisy came along, an abused shelter dog from the south.
Anyway, Angel was very fortunate to have such a loving home and great care with you and Marty.
Diane

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Diane
Caregiver of Thomas (my Dad,82)
Pleural epithelial meso
dx 11/10
Our battle ended March 16, 2012. Together.

Lois I am so, so very sorry about Angel. I know what a huge gap this leaves in you life. Our fur babies often seem to know us better than any human. I still can't think of getting another dog after losing my constant companion Great Dane last Nov. I do have a cat now. First cat I've had since childhood. He's much lower maintenance than a dog & a very different sort of "company". He does make me laugh every day tho & that's not a bad thing. It was also a relief for me when it came time to put my dog down. I knew she was increasingly uncomfortable & I feared the cancer would claim her while I was gone. I'm hoping to have her ashes buried with me!
You have so many happy memories of Angel. Over time they'll bring you many smiles.

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Janet, Mom/caregiver of peritoneal survivor dx 12/05

Lois
Angel is walking with Marty. She was a great comfort to you

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HUGS
bonnie
Peritoneal survivor 10 YEARS