On the bereavement section, Diane wrote a note about her brothers acting like vultures and in a party-like atmosphere grabbing up personal possessions from his home. Diane, let me say that I'm sorry you have to witness their rotten behavior. A note about you and your hubby moving bcz of 'this'.... people are usually told not to make any BIG or drastic changes in their lives for at least a year. So, you might keep that in mind about moving right now.

Anyhow, your note about your experience with your brothers reminded me of what Marty decided to do before his death, which I certainly appreciated and think it is very appropriate that I share this info with you folks.

In 2005 which was BM (before meso), Marty and I had a trust made up. The trust includes a will by each of us, and is kinda 'within the trust'.... don't know how it works in your state, but perhaps same.

Anyhow, after Marty's dx (abbrev for diagnosis) we went back to atty to modify our trust. While there, the atty questioned Marty what would happen if any $ from meso came after his death. Marty's response was "we don't know." Our local atty asked if he had permission to contact the atty's ofc handling meso "lawsuits" and of course Marty gave him permission, and contacted Roger Worthington's firm - who Marty had signed up with.

Our local atty was advised that upon Marty's death any $ received from meso lawsuits would be divided a portion to his children, to be divided amonst them, and a portion to me. I cannot remember, perhaps 2/3 to his children and 1/3 to me. Marty said, "I do not want that. I want all money to go to Lois."

Seth Davidson, who was with Roger Worthington's firm, told our local attorney that a document could be drawn up and signed by Marty, stating that any and all monies relating to his asbestos exposure were to go to the family trust."

Anyhow, after Marty's death I had to file Marty's will for probate even though we had a family trust. The will is still in probate even tho Marty died almost three years ago. June 16, 2009 is when he died. Anyhow, I guess we leave the will 'open' or whatever in probate for however long it might take IF AND WHEN any $ comes from those rotten companies who were responsible for asbestos exposure and had filed bankruptcy!

Anyhow, Diane's unfortunate interaction with her siblings brought the subject up, and I just wanted to share Marty's experience and my knowledge with you.

The atty's ofc handling Marty's asbestos exposure sent a copy of his will to all 4 of his children. When 3 of his kids got the copy of the will, they contacted the one son who I am very close to, and asked what it was about or what it meant. He told them if they wanted to know anything, just to contact the attorney with their questions. They asked what he did, and he said he signed the paperwork agreeing to let any $ "go to Lois bcz she is the one who took care of Dad."

All of Marty's kids signed paperwork agreeing to sign off and let any $ go to the trust. Anyhow, I learned that even if the other 3 had not 'signed off their right to any meso $" that the paperwork in place would have insured that I get it all --- perhaps would've been a little court hassle, dunno and glad that I did NOT HAVE TO GO THERE!

So,after Marty's death there was a settlement that closed, and I was grateful not to have to share the money with his kids. We were not at all close to two of them the 22 years we were married, and one of them we'd only been close to about 2 or 3 years of the first part of our marriage. The one we'd lost 'closeness with' finally came to see Marty 3 weeks before his death. I'd been in contact with the daughters and they had visited him during his 27 months of illness a couple times. I even provided airfare for one of the daughters to come visit after I had driven him up to Colorado to visit her and her husband when I used to plan trips every 2 months to haul his cute little butt off to enjoy life and have something to look forward to!


I am sure this info will be of value to some of you, I hope so, anyhow!

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Lois, Poolboy's mermaid
Marty was stage 3/4 - pleural meso 3/9/07
fought valiantly 27 months
gone to Heaven June 16, 2009

Lois
When it comes right down to it, every adult over 18 needs to confront the "what if" of life. A Power of Attorney, a health proxy, will, trust, even who will take care of the underage children need to be addressed legally. Just try to do anything if these documents are not written up. Government and judical laws make it very hard.

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HUGS
bonnie
Peritoneal survivor 10 YEARS

We should all have these papers in place, as well as have honest discussions to avoid some of the battles that might take place after our demise. I was recently called from a bereaved daughter who did not want to settle out of court as she felt her dad deserved "his day in court despite having died from his meso some time ago". Never thought about this nor brought the topic to this board but I guess that too should be discussed with your attorney as well as your loved ones. This is a complicated disease from both a medical and legal standpoint with stressors that other cancer patients and their familes do no have to face.

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Mary Hesdorffer, NP
Medical Liaison, Mesothelioma Foundation

Engaging an estate lawyer is the best thing Lora and I did. Every state is different as far as how much $$ can be protected from taxes. A good lawyer will pick your brain, go through all family members, children, grand children and protect their interests based on all scenarios as far as who pre-deceases who. They will also protect bloodlines, meaning descendants spouses cannot have access. Only blood relations will inherit. Blind trusts, seem to be the safest as far as headaches. No one knows until some event triggers the execution. What they don't know won't hurt them or you. No one can question how you invest or use your assets. What appears to be hefty $fee upfront will save a lot of $$$ and headaches later. If you have an investment firm, they usually have law firms they work with for things like this at a discounted rate.

These documents are thick, and sound like they were written in martian. However, our lawyer explained it does not leave anything open to interpretation.

Hope this helps a bit.

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Rich (patient) and Lora Mosca
Peritoneal Survivor dx'd 12/06

Hi to both of you. This is Rose in Alaska-still hanging on, and Dennis is still fairly stable. I finally figured out how to sign on, but still haven't deciphered how to do a new post, so am connecting to others by replying. Dennis and I have hired an estate lawyer and getting wills updated. I have no children, and Dennis has 4, 2 of whom have already been after us for $ based on their belief that we/I will receive a large settlement. Kind of tells me where I am in the family structure, even after 25 yrs of marriage-longer than he was married to their mother. Oh, well. Another issue that has been in contention w/us for years is that Dennis doesn't like my brother in law, and so wanted me to agree that my sister would'nt get anything, which I won't do. So these are things that need to be addressed prior to his getting worse, and we did, but it took some time and intense discussions. I'm lucky-I work for the state and have some coverage thru insurance for estate planning.

Hope you're still doing well-thanks for listening. Rose

Hi Rose,
glad to hear Dennis is holding his own. If you look at the page where you see the list of posts, there is a button at the top of the list on the left side that says "New Post".
I'm doing well, thanks for asking. Hello to Dennis.

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Rich (patient) and Lora Mosca
Peritoneal Survivor dx'd 12/06

We just saw an estate attorney this week in Texas. Although many things pass income tax free they may not pass through inheritance tax free. That is a federal tax if you go over the limit which is currently 5 million up from 3.5 million. Because we are in an election year it is expected that this amount will be lowered again. Depends on which party is reelected as to whether it goes way lower or moderately lower. Future court judgements $$$ that come in after a family member has passed are counted in the estate's total value. Your home, life insurance, cars, collections, jewelry, SEP's, IRA's, second properties, and meso lawsuit money. It all addas up quickly and can easily go beyond the tax limit. The tax starts around 35% and goes up. We paid an attorney to set up a structured Trust, new wills, POA's, Medical papers, etc and the cost was $4200. Sounds like a lot of money but it's peace of mind and is set up to avoid paying inheritance tax. Things can pass to the surviving spouse (in our case) and then to the exact family members we designate. Knowing what is ahead with this disease gives you time to plan for the future. Even if you feel your estate is small and unimportant Plz seal professional advice. Things can be set up in away to make the surviving spouse's job easier.
KC wife of Bill pleural dx 2-2011

I am so glad that my post regarding this subject generated some input from several of you. I think this is a very imp issue and felt it should be addressed. Love to all.

Saddens me to see more new MESO WARRIORS coming on the list, not sad that you are on the site, just sad that MESO brought you here! HUGS to all. Lois

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Lois, Poolboy's mermaid
Marty was stage 3/4 - pleural meso 3/9/07
fought valiantly 27 months
gone to Heaven June 16, 2009